Prevention is better than cure. Out of country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
It is true that preventative remedy is much more efficient than treatment, in society. An argument has that a great proportion of the country's budget should be transferred from treatment to physical awareness. I agree with that suggestion completely because it will help to develop public wellness and will help save money.
Begin with
, the predominant reason to give priority to Verb problem
With
the
precaution Correct article usage
apply
this
will help the population to
maintain their health.Verb problem
apply
As a result
, nations can avoid the sickness in the first stage by taking measurable steps. Although
this
will change the standard of living of many people, they can be more dedicated to their work. For example
, in the past, people cannot
able to Verb problem
were not
give
attention to their work as having sick members in their family, Verb problem
pay
due to
that they are suffering from the
stress.
Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, fewer funds are required in spreading
and Change preposition
to spread
initiating
health awareness in society. Wrong verb form
initiate
Thus
,the rest of the capital can be used for providing other services such
as education, food and transportation. For instance
, if fitness-related activities are included as mandatory in the curriculum of educational institutions, then
it will not only make children well-informed about their physical fitness but also
play a major role in building their future.
To summarize, a larger percentage of the country’s well-being budget should be diverted for
awareness rather than medication.Change preposition
to
This
helps to save money, which may use
for the treatment of an individual suffering from a critical illness which is ultimately beneficial for the economy of the country.Wrong verb form
be used
Submitted by aurkos8171 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is focused on a specific idea related to the topic and follow a clear logical structure throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a stronger introduction that clearly presents your viewpoint and a conclusion that summarizes your argument effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points and strengthen your argument.
