Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The diagram given illustrates
procedure
Add an article
the procedure
a procedure
show examples
of
sugar
Use synonyms
production which can be separated into two groups, pre-production and on-production. It clearly
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
there are seven steps to transform
sugar
Use synonyms
cane
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
. Looking at the pre-production,
firstly
Linking Words
, the
sugar
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cane must have been
planting
Wrong verb form
planted
show examples
at least twelve months, not over eighteen months.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
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will harvest
their
Correct the word
theirs
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produces by using two different methods, picking
up
Correct pronoun usage
it up
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by truck or chopping
down
Correct pronoun usage
it down
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by
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. Turning to on-production,
sugar
Use synonyms
cane will be smashed by the machine until it becomes watery.
Linking Words
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
step, to purify, the juice will be poured
trough
Correct your spelling
through
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Limestone
Correct article usage
a Limestone
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filter. After that, there is
method
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a method
the method
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called 'Evaporator', making it
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more intense with the heat until it
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
syrup.
Then
Linking Words
,
sugar
Use synonyms
crystal will be apart from
syrup
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the syrup
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in
'Centrifuge'
Correct article usage
the 'Centrifuge'
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process. The
last
Linking Words
step is to dehydrate pieces of
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they have to cool it down as well. On the whole, there are numerous processes to produce
sugar
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. The
first
Linking Words
group of procedures be able to archive by human compared to another group which has to
be depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
on machines.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
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