IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
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I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion that every government should provide
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
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 citizens with free medical
care
Use synonyms
. Even if
a
Remove the article
apply
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medical assistance is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high-cost
Correct your spelling
high cost
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. Personally, I argue
this
Linking Words
 statement drawing
from
Change preposition
apply
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that
preserve
Replace the word
preserving
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 and
strengthen
Wrong verb form
strengthening
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a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 of the population are a main
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 of
state
Add an article
the state
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. In
Linking Words
additionally
Replace the word
addition
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 every citizen
have
Change the verb form
has
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 a right to
a
Remove the article
apply
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health
Use synonyms
 protection, including available and high-quality
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
in
Change preposition
apply
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our country acts
a
Change preposition
as a
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system of
a
Remove the article
apply
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medical insurance, which ensured
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical aid for all permanent life residents in a territory of the Republic of Kazakhstan. The guaranteed amount of a medical
care
Use synonyms
 system includes ambulance service and
first
Linking Words
 medical-sanitary aid. According to an annual report of
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
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 of
Health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 in
past
Add an article
the past
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 year more than 215 million services on
ambulance
Correct article usage
the ambulance
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 level had
rendered
Add a missing verb
been rendered
show examples
 to the population. What is more, it is undeniable that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 citizens' rights are secured by the Code of the Republic of Kazakhstan
about
Change preposition
regarding
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 the
health
Use synonyms
 of the people and the healthcare system.
According
Add the preposition
toAccording
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from
Change preposition
to
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own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
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recently
Replace the word
recent
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 experience says,
that
Correct word choice
apply
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I
was take
Change the verb form
took
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free guaranteed medical treatment when I needed a surgical operation intervention. Which costs more than 500 dollars.
In addition
Linking Words
,
during
Change preposition
for
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 the many
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 I have taken a free treatment for
a
Remove the article
apply
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chronic disease. The cost of which is
also
Linking Words
 expensive. In a conclusion, it can hardly be denied that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy nation is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 well-being and future of the country.
Therefore
Linking Words
, every country should be spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 and free provide citizenries even if will
very
Add a missing verb
be very
show examples
 cost.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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