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Band 4.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
I firmly agree with
this
 notion that every government should provide
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
 citizens with free medical
care
. Even if
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
medical assistance is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high-cost
Correct your spelling
high cost
show examples
. Personally, I argue
this
 statement drawing
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
preserve
Replace the word
preserving
show examples
 and
strengthen
Wrong verb form
strengthening
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
health
 of the population are a main
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 of
state
Add an article
the state
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. In
additionally
Replace the word
addition
show examples
 every citizen
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a right to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
health
 protection, including available and high-quality
health
care
.
First
 of all,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our country acts
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
system of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
medical insurance, which ensured
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical aid for all permanent life residents in a territory of the Republic of Kazakhstan. The guaranteed amount of a medical
care
 system includes ambulance service and
first
 medical-sanitary aid. According to an annual report of
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
show examples
 of
Health
care
 in
past
Add an article
the past
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 year more than 215 million services on
ambulance
Correct article usage
the ambulance
show examples
 level had
rendered
Add a missing verb
been rendered
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 to the population. What is more, it is undeniable that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 citizens' rights are secured by the Code of the Republic of Kazakhstan
about
Change preposition
regarding
show examples
 the
health
 of the people and the healthcare system.
According
Add the preposition
toAccording
show examples
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
show examples
recently
Replace the word
recent
show examples
 experience says,
that
Correct word choice
apply
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I
was take
Change the verb form
took
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free guaranteed medical treatment when I needed a surgical operation intervention. Which costs more than 500 dollars.
In addition
,
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the many
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 I have taken a free treatment for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
chronic disease. The cost of which is
also
 expensive. In a conclusion, it can hardly be denied that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy nation is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 well-being and future of the country.
Therefore
, every country should be spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
health
care
 and free provide citizenries even if will
very
Add a missing verb
be very
show examples
 cost.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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