Some people believe that men and women are equal so, women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal therefore, there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Thesedays
Correct your spelling
These days
,
equality
between working men and
women
is a serious controversy. There is a common belief that
women
achieve
equality
with men in their
job
,so they can be active in any field. While, another common belief about
this
approach is that there is not any
equality
between them,
therefore
women
should do
Add an article
the especial
an especial
show examples
especial
Correct your spelling
special
show examples
job
which is appropriate for them. In
this
essay, I will discuss both sides of
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
show examples
and give my opinion. It is
certain
Change the adjective
certainly
show examples
true that one of the essential aims of achieving
equality
between men and
women
in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
workplace is
women
Change preposition
for women
show examples
would show their best performance. If they feel
more
Add an article
the more
show examples
equal situation in their career, they will perform efficiently.
For example
, countries
such
as Sweden and Iceland, have been monitoring to implement the
equality
in
job
promotion, salary and stuff like that between both genders in their workplace, so the official statistics illustrate far more performance of
women
. Generally,
This
approach probably can have
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
impact on societies’ economic
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
.
In addition
, having equal opportunities could minimize the limitation of
women
’s
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
For instance
, in developed countries students are competing for certain majors, including
women
, because they would rather seize
Correct article usage
a especial
show examples
especial
Correct your spelling
special
show examples
major and profession which is appropriate for them.
Therefore
, in modern societies,
this
approach can contribute to
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
show examples
the demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
However
, gender inequality would provide a situation,
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
women
perhaps benefit from their instinct. It means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
women
can have
better
Add an article
the better
show examples
function in
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, which is related to
women
’s
instinct
Fix the agreement mistake
instincts
show examples
like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
kindergarten trainer, nursing and even teaching. If
women
adopt their career whit their instinct and spirit, they will probably move up the ladder. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, some jobs which are much more practical and far from fragile
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
spirit
Fix the agreement mistake
spirits
show examples
can not be suitable for them.
secondly
,
inequality
Correct article usage
the inequality
show examples
situation of
women
’s
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
can be related to their domestic duty.
In other words
,
women
have essential responsibilities as a mother that they may need to juggle both their household chores and
job
.
Moreover
, some
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
could not provide
safe
Add an article
a safe
show examples
and suitable environment for them like
Submitted by shokoohghavami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: