Today the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. to what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
There is no denying the fact that the average person's life is growing owing to
the
technology and copious people claim that old folks Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
the
society should be involved in work owing to their numerous and vast experience. Correct article usage
apply
while
critics argue that the youth should be promoted and utilized in work. In my, opinion, the latter proposition appears to be more rational. This
essay will further
elaborate on my views on the positive and negative impacts of the trends and thus
will lead to a logical conclusion.
to begin
with, the first statement undoubtedly
old age persons are a valuable asset for a nation because they served their major parts of life Add a missing verb
is undoubtedly
for
a particular profession, Change preposition
in
in addition
, they have vast and robust experience honestly speaking they are master
in numerous skills that make them take a role as a leader so many people think that they should continue their contribution for the nation to make it prestigious and successful country despite being growing old. Fix the agreement mistake
masters
to Illustrate
, A recent survey indicates that Germany is a country where the majority of the population almost 70% is old and they are actively involved in various jobs and Correct your spelling
To illustrate
relished
Wrong verb form
relish
the
life very positive manner.
Correct article usage
apply
Secondly
, I firmly believe that the current era is for youth there is no denying the fact that the younger gene is more welcome not only by company
but Fix the agreement mistake
companies
also
by various countries because they are fresh flood they can be worked
longer hours or Wrong verb form
work
in
pressure, environment owing to their physical strength and stamina Change preposition
under
furthermore
, they are highly skilled worker they have up-to-date information and various ways how to tackle situation and problems, therefore
, the teens should be placed in the workforce and provide them with all opportunities that are not only advantageous for younger but also
for the nation. A survey report on Asian countries indicates that Pakistan is one of the leading countries that have more than 70% of its population consisting of teens and they actively contribute to their community.
Finally
, to sum up
, according to
the aforementioned arguments reach a conclusion that senior folks of the society are undoubtedly key-assets
but should need to retire and be replaced by younger owing to their strength and a new range of skillsCorrect your spelling
key assets
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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces the topic and your position on it. Your conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position.
task achievement
Address the prompt fully and develop your ideas with relevant and specific examples. Ensure that your response is clear a comprehensive throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.