IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There are some countries which their people believe
on
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in
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 the high importance of devoting large sums of money to building the
railway
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 lines for connecting
cities
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fast
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with fast
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trains
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. While some others say that the money should be spent to develop current public transport. Personally, I believe that constructing the
railway
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 lines could solve
more
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apply
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deeper problems. By improving existing public transport some serious problems could be solved,
such
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 as
air
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pollution
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 and
traffic
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 jam. As we know, some part of the
air
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pollution
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 is in order to old public vehicles, which are not able to filter some dangerous contaminants. So by replacing
unefficient
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inefficient
 old public vehicles
such
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 as taxis and buses with new ones,
atmosphere
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the atmosphere
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 would be less polluted, and
also
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 our life and other species would not be in danger.
Furthermore
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,
through
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by
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 expanding the streets and considering particular ways for public transportation vehicles and raising the capacity of
trains
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, the
traffic
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 congestion could be decreased, because people find public transportation faster and more affordable, So they prefer using
trains
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 and buses rather than their private cars.
However
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, it should not be ignored that many people have to immigrate to larger
cities
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 for the job in order to
lack
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a lack
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of
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apply
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fast ways to travel and come back to their
home
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homes
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 on a daily basis. Constructing the
railway
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 for fast
trains
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 between
cities
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 is the more necessary way to prevent getting empty of
habitants
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habitats
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 in small
cities
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 and villages and a higher rate of migration from there to metropolitan
cities
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. Nowadays, commuters prefer to immigrate to larger towns for their job, because they cannot arrive at work punctually, so if we improve existing public transports
air
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pollution
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 and
traffic
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 jam would be solved temporarily, because of the growing population in large
cities
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. To sum up, I say that by devoting more part of
money
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the money
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 to construct the
railway
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 between
cities
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 for fast
trains
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, one of the main reasons, which can cause
air
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pollution
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,
traffic
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 jam and evacuation of small
cities
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 will be addressed, by the
way
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,way
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 we will not see much migration for jobs due to lack of quick access to larger towns.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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