IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Fast food is a part of life in some places. Some people think that this has bad effects on lifestyles and diet. Do you agree or disagree?

For some
places
Use synonyms
 around the world, eating fast
food
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 can be an integral part of their lives. Some
people
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 believe that eating fast
food
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 can have severe negative impacts on
people
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's lifestyles and diets. On the other
,
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apply
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hand
others
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, others
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 believe that eating fast
food
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 is completely fine. I concur
,
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apply
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 that eating
food
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 from
such
Linking Words
 joints could lead to a negative impact on
people
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's lifestyles and diets. Eating fast
food
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 once in a blue moon is normal
,
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;
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however
Linking Words
, eating fast
food
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 on a regular basis can lead to negative effects on
people
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's lifestyle and health.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, eating fast
food
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 once in three to four weeks is fine
but
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, but
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 some
people
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 crave
food
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 from a fast
food
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 joint like Burger King or
Dominos
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Domino's
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 regularly
,
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;
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on
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apply
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doing so,
people
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's health could
go
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be
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 at risk.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
food
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 at
such
Linking Words
places
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 doesn't suit their diet
to
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apply
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and
people
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 could have stomach aches or even
food
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 poisoning. There are many joints which
also
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 offer healthy
food
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 like Subway, which claims to offer healthy
food
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 to their customers
Linking Words
however
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; however
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eating
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, eating
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 from
such
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places
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 could
also
Linking Words
 have a bad impact on our
lives
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lives,
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 as sometimes these
places
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 don't make
food
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 from fresh ingredients.
Instead
Linking Words
 of going out to eat
food
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 from
such
Linking Words
places
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,
people
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 should try to make
food
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by
Change preposition
for
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 themselves.
For example
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of going to a burger fast
food
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 joint, one can try to make burgers by themselves on their own at home, through which they can learn how
such
Linking Words
 foods are made by using fresh ingredients. In conclusion, eating
food
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 from a fast
food
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 joint on a regular basis could lead to negative effects on our healthstyle and diet.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
People
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 can eat
food
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 from
such
Linking Words
places
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 once a month.
Instead
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 of going to these
,
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apply
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places
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they
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, they
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 should try to eat healthily
and
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, and
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 if they crave for some
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food
Punctuation problem
food,
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 they should try to make
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
it themselves
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 at home.

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task response
Be clear on your view in the first line. Say if you agree or not in a simple sentence.
coherence
Use 4 clear paragraphs: intro, 2-3 body paragraphs, and a short end. Each para has one idea and links to your view.
coherence
Use link words to show how ideas connect. Also, be careful with punctuation and sign words, like however, also, but.
language flex
Fix grammar mistakes and spelling. Watch small errors like 'On the other ,hand', 'healthstyle' and 'health'.
strength
You state a view and give reasons.
strength
You provide some examples and a contrast with other views.
strength
You use some linking words to link ideas.
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