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Band 5

Imagine you could improve the town where you live by changing one important thing about it. Which of the following would you choose to do?

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Introduction
The place where I live already has all the prerequisites things need for living.
however
Linking Words
, if I get a chance to improve one thing in my town, where I live, I will go for the more number of public parks. I feel
this
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 way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
Body paragraph 1
first
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 of all, to
enchance
Correct your spelling
enhance
 our health, green places
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 a very significant role. they are always full of greenery and serenity, giving us always a
relax
Change the form of the verb
relaxed
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 environment. my own friend's experience is a compelling example of
this
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. At
very
Add an article
a very
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 young age my friend has been diagnosed with high blood pressure. the Doctor suggested
him
Correct pronoun usage
he
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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have a regular morning walk and some changes in
the
Change the word
his
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 diet. he daily
do
Change the verb form
does
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half hour
Add a hyphen
half-hour
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 walking in
park
Add an article
a park
the park
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 in
morning
Add an article
the morning
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 and
also
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 in the evening. just after one
month
Add a comma
,month
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 his blood pressure becomes normal, without any medicine.
As a result
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, my friend still follows the same routine, of jogging daily in the Park.
Body paragraph 2
secondly
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, Parks are the best place to spend good times with family and
friends
Use synonyms
. there, we can play games, chat with
friends
Use synonyms
, relax, can read books, or eating. It's a
plcae
Correct your spelling
place
, where we can do so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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 stuff and all
at
Change preposition
apply
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free of cost.
for example
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,
at
Change preposition
apply
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every
first
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sunday
Change the capitalization
Sunday
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 of
a
Correct article usage
the
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 month,
me
Change the pronoun
I
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 and my
friends
Use synonyms
 have a get together at
Add an article
a common
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common place
Correct your spelling
commonplace
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, and it's a central
park
Correct your spelling
part
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of
Change preposition
in
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 the city. we all have lunch together and we all
also
Linking Words
 play games in the evening, it's
becomes
Wrong verb form
become
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 an event for all of us. the whole month
me
Change the pronoun
I
show examples
 and my
friends
Use synonyms
 wait for that day. And nobody wants to miss that event.
Conclusion
in a nutshell, I strongly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 building more parks in my town will be an incredible thing for me. since, it improves physical health, and mental health and helps in building more strong relationships with our family and with our
friends
Use synonyms
.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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