In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that government should have the responsibility. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?
Nowadays a
lot
of countries have the same Use synonyms
problem
and Use synonyms
this
is about obesity Linking Words
Use synonyms
children
.Some individuals believe that Change preposition
in children
government
should solve Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
problem
because Use synonyms
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
is
responsible Remove the redundancy
apply
about
Change preposition
for
this
issue. In my opinion Linking Words
that
Correct determiner usage
the
government
must put more entertainment in Use synonyms
schools
. Use synonyms
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
government
should put good places for bikes and there Use synonyms
are
a Change the verb form
is
lot
of advertising Use synonyms
in
TV for using Change preposition
on
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
the bicycle
in particular
when there are attractive Linking Words
advertising
and places for bicycle Replace the word
advertisements
children
encourage to use Use synonyms
it
.Despite parents Correct pronoun usage
them
have
Wrong verb form
having
main
Change the article
the main
roul
and they tried to eat healthy Correct your spelling
role
food
and avoid unhealthy Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
such
as chocolate, candy and chips.
Linking Words
Governments
have Use synonyms
very
important role in Add an article
a very
this
Linking Words
way
due to the fact that Use synonyms
governments
should put a Use synonyms
lot
of entertainment in Use synonyms
schools
and Use synonyms
children
should have more time for exercise and other Use synonyms
phisical
activities.Correct your spelling
physical
Inaddition
, Correct your spelling
In addition
governments
must hold different races and give excellent awards for winners and I think Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
children
encourage to do more exercise or Use synonyms
phisical
activity.
Another reason why I think Correct your spelling
physical
governments
can solve Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
problem
is that they make Use synonyms
best
Change the article
the best
way
for Use synonyms
bike
with Add an article
a bike
the bike
this
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
children
can go to school very easy without they have Use synonyms
estress
.Correct your spelling
stress
In
Linking Words
particular
Add a comma
,particular
governments
must take high tax for Use synonyms
privacy
Replace the word
private
car
and they should increase the fare of public transportations.Despite the fact that Fix the agreement mistake
cars
this
Linking Words
way
is not good for all Use synonyms
children
because some Use synonyms
children
are far from their Use synonyms
schools
and they need public transportations.
Use synonyms
Ihold
firmly to the belief that Correct your spelling
I hold
Hold
governments
should put healthy Use synonyms
food
in Use synonyms
schools
Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
furits
, nuts and milk rather than chocolate and candy.They have to get used to Correct your spelling
fruits
children
that eat healthy Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
in particular
when their parents give them some nutrition from their home.Linking Words
However
,some parents can not do Linking Words
this
Linking Words
work
because they have a Use synonyms
lot
of Use synonyms
work
.so Use synonyms
schools
should have healthy Use synonyms
food
and nutrition.
To sum up, Use synonyms
governments
have Use synonyms
good
effect to solve Add an article
a good
this
Linking Words
problem
and they can Use synonyms
attractive
Replace the word
attract
children
Use synonyms
with
different Change preposition
in
Use synonyms
way
and they do Fix the agreement mistake
ways
best
Change the article
the best
work
who have Use synonyms
good
weight.Correct article usage
a good
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.