In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that government should have the responsibility. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

Nowadays a

lot

of countries have the same

problem

and

this

is about obesity

children

Change preposition

in children

show examples

.Some individuals believe that

government

should solve

this

problem

because

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

is

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

is

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

responsible

about

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

issue. In my opinion

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

government

must put more entertainment in

schools

.

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

show examples

government

should put good places for bikes and there

are

Change the verb form

is

show examples

a

lot

of advertising

in

Change preposition

on

show examples

TV for using

bicycle

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a bicycle

the bicycle

show examples

in particular

when there are attractive

advertising

Replace the word

advertisements

show examples

and places for bicycle

children

encourage to use

it

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

.Despite parents

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

main

Change the article

the main

show examples

roul

Correct your spelling

role

and they tried to eat healthy

food

and avoid unhealthy

food

such

as chocolate, candy and chips.

Governments

have

very

Add an article

a very

show examples

important role in

this

way

due to the fact that

governments

should put a

lot

of entertainment in

schools

and

children

should have more time for exercise and other

phisical

Correct your spelling

physical

activities.

Inaddition

Correct your spelling

In addition

,

governments

must hold different races and give excellent awards for winners and I think

with

Change preposition

in

show examples

this

way

children

encourage to do more exercise or

phisical

Correct your spelling

physical

activity. Another reason why I think

governments

can solve

this

problem

is that they make

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

way

for

bike

Add an article

a bike

the bike

show examples

with

this

work

children

can go to school very easy without they have

estress

Correct your spelling

stress

.

In

particular

Add a comma

,particular

show examples

governments

must take high tax for

privacy

Replace the word

private

show examples

car

Fix the agreement mistake

cars

show examples

and they should increase the fare of public transportations.Despite the fact that

this

way

is not good for all

children

because some

children

are far from their

schools

and they need public transportations.

Ihold

Correct your spelling

I hold

Hold

firmly to the belief that

governments

should put healthy

food

in

schools

such

as

furits

Correct your spelling

fruits

, nuts and milk rather than chocolate and candy.They have to get used to

children

that eat healthy

food

in particular

when their parents give them some nutrition from their home.

However

,some parents can not do

this

work

because they have a

lot

of

work

.so

schools

should have healthy

food

and nutrition. To sum up,

governments

have

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

effect to solve

this

problem

and they can

attractive

Replace the word

attract

show examples

children

with

Change preposition

in

show examples

different

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

and they do

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

work

who have

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

weight.