It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role.
It is generally argued by some that different types of social
media
and friends’ Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
affect the Fix the agreement mistake
groups
children’s
Use synonyms
upbringings
. While some people believe that Fix the agreement mistake
upbringing
parents
’ role Use synonyms
is
profoundly Unnecessary verb
apply
influence
offspring's Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
personality
. Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss both Linking Words
of
the views but, in my opinion, the latter has Change preposition
apply
more
dramatic impact.
On the one hand, Add an article
a more
children’s
mental and physical development is mainly affected by their surroundings. Many believe social Use synonyms
media
and Use synonyms
peers’
Change noun form
peers
Use synonyms
group
can shape kids’ Fix the agreement mistake
groups
Use synonyms
personality
. Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
In other words
, Linking Words
media
Use synonyms
platform
like television and pop affect them. When they start watching it, not only see the fashion trendFix the agreement mistake
platforms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
adopt the same in their lives. Linking Words
Moreover
, when little ones go out of their houses, they meet different people with different cultures and Linking Words
behaviors
. So, their Change the spelling
behaviours
personality
will be impressed. Use synonyms
For instance
, my niece desires to have clothes Linking Words
same
as princesses in animations.
Correct article usage
the same
On the other hand
, Linking Words
parents
have a significant role in Use synonyms
development
of Add an article
the development
children’s
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
personality
. Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
In other words
, when kids are born, they see their Linking Words
parents
from the very Use synonyms
first
Linking Words
second
. Linking Words
Therefore
, they are just in Linking Words
touching
with them and will copy their Change the form of the verb
touch
behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
For example
, if Linking Words
parents
have always Use synonyms
argument
together, Replace the word
argued
and
Correct word choice
apply
then
children will learn and exhibit in facing Linking Words
with
others. So, in my perspective, Change preposition
apply
parents
are more profoundly Use synonyms
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
on
Change preposition
by
character
of children in comparing to social Add an article
the character
media
and Use synonyms
peers’
Change noun form
peers
Use synonyms
group
.
To sum Fix the agreement mistake
groups
up
the Add a comma
,up
children’s
surroundings have Use synonyms
profound
impact on their Add an article
a profound
personality
. Use synonyms
However
, I believe that Linking Words
Correct article usage
the parent’s
parent’s
role is more influential in Fix the agreement mistake
parents’
comparing
to social Replace the word
comparison
media
and friend Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
.Fix the agreement mistake
groups
Submitted by Masud on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?