Nowadays both men and women spend much money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

#men #women #money #beauty #care #was #root #behaviour #results

Both males and females are more focusing on their appearance and pay

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

money for

beauty

products

. The main reasons and the possible effects should be both discussed. The most significant cause is that since the middle class has thrived, more and more rich people enable to enjoy a fancier lifestyle.

Besides

a healthy body, numerous individuals cost much fortune in attempting better looks. To satisfy customers, medical companies have invented more

products

which can help them to look younger and prettier

instead

of medicine. In brief, the more people are willing or able to spend their payments on

beauty

commodities, the more corporations manufacture a variety of them. Another considerable reason relates to how the Internet has changed modern society. Currently, everyone has access to almost everything through the net;

as a result

, celebrities’ influence can spread widely and rapidly to affect viewers' behaviours.

For example

, Korean idols represent the image of white-skin, flawless facials and fit bodies on the net.

Consequently

, female fans dream about future lovers which are the same figure. Following

this

, men might try harder to use

beauty

products

to win their crushes.

However

, the negative impacts in the future perhaps should be worried.

Firstly

, if more

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

rich buy luxurious

products

, the less rich group wants to purchase them because of vanity to imitate them.

This

phenomenon may lead to some unethical companies producing

second

-class goods

Change preposition

for

show examples

customers, and

this

may bring about a terrible result.

Secondly

, some teenagers using makeup

products

like the celebrities

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they love may not realize the accurate process.

Therefore

, they could injure their facial skin without noticing. In summary, applying

beauty

products

Change the noun form

product

show examples

trends to a new standard of

beauty

by following the rich lifestyle and online idol culture. The negative results should be concerned until too late to guide.

Submitted by jrtay22 on Wed Apr 27 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

media influence
idealized beauty standards
disposable income
economic prosperity
technological advancements
beauty products and services
cultural shifts
social contexts
personal health and wellness
self-care routines

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Nowadays both men and women spend much money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

‏In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some parents think children's behavior should be strictly controlled, while other parents think children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give examples.

Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products they sell. Others believe that it is the consumer’s responsibility to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinions

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message