The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

#availability #entertainment #video #games #devices #individuals #society

When the issue of

video

games

on handheld devices is brought up, there occurs many conflicting opinions. While it is argued by some that the popularity of entertainment on portable gadgets has a negative effect on individuals, I tend toward the opinion that it

also

potentially brings benefits to society. On one hand,

video

games

on smartphones can cause negative impacts on players. There have been many cases of game-addicted

children

neglecting their own family and friends.

Video

games

are designed to be appealing to the eyes of

children

by their fascinating graphic designs and impressive gameplays, which cause people to get drawn into the virtual world for hours. As an illustration,

children

are easiest to become addicted to

games

as they wouldn't mind wasting hours completing virtual

games

' missions, collecting items, and by so neglecting their own studies and real-life relationships.

On the other hand

, there has not been any research proving the correlations between playing

games

and harmful

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

. Some

video

games

also

include historical details and provide amazing music that can educate

children

, especially

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

those in need.

Moreover

, game designing has become more and more popular over the years. Many young talented students can find a way to earn a large amount of money from creating

video

games

. In conclusion, playing

games

can be dangerous as they might forget outside life, but if players can learn to control and manage time between virtual

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

and

real-life

Correct your spelling

real life

show examples

then

games

can serve educational purposes as well.

Submitted by doibichhoa on Tue May 03 2022

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Sentence 1 - Summary
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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organisers. In your letter:  Explain why you are interest in helping  Give details suitable past experience  Suggest ways you might help with the event

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. what are the reasons for this?

People sleeps less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What effects does it have on individuals and on society?

Government spend millions of dollars each year on their space programmes Most recently Mars is the focus of scientists attention' . Some people think this money would be better spent on dealing with closer to home. Do you agree or disagree?