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The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

#availability #entertainment #video #games #devices #individuals #society
When the issue of
video
games
 on handheld devices is brought up, there occurs many conflicting opinions. While it is argued by some that the popularity of entertainment on portable gadgets has a negative effect on individuals, I tend toward the opinion that it
also
 potentially brings benefits to society. On one hand,
video
games
 on smartphones can cause negative impacts on players. There have been many cases of game-addicted
children
 neglecting their own family and friends.
Video
games
 are designed to be appealing to the eyes of
children
 by their fascinating graphic designs and impressive gameplays, which cause people to get drawn into the virtual world for hours. As an illustration,
children
 are easiest to become addicted to
games
 as they wouldn't mind wasting hours completing virtual
games
' missions, collecting items, and by so neglecting their own studies and real-life relationships.
On the other hand
, there has not been any research proving the correlations between playing
games
 and harmful
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. Some
video
games
also
 include historical details and provide amazing music that can educate
children
, especially
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those in need.
Moreover
, game designing has become more and more popular over the years. Many young talented students can find a way to earn a large amount of money from creating
video
games
. In conclusion, playing
games
 can be dangerous as they might forget outside life, but if players can learn to control and manage time between virtual
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
 and
real-life
Correct your spelling
real life
show examples
,
then
games
 can serve educational purposes as well.
Submitted by doibichhoa on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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