IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You and some friends want to start a weekly dance club and you have found a hall that would be suitable to hold your meetings. Write a letter to the owner of the hall. In you letter, 1. explain your and your friends project 2. ask if it possible to rent the hall and under the what terms 3. state what day and what timings you would like to use the hall You should write at least 150 words.

Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to raise our interest regarding one of your halls that I found
on
Change preposition
in
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 a newspaper.
First
Linking Words
 of all, let me introduce
about
Change preposition
apply
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our project and notion. As we are big fans of dance and music, we would like to work
a
Change preposition
in a
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business that
related
Add a missing verb
is related
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 to our hobby.
That is
Linking Words
 one of the reasons why we would like to get your hall to open a dance club.
Although
Linking Words
 we have been looking
a
Change preposition
for a
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suitable room with some specifications for months, we could not find anything else.
However
Linking Words
, we were luckily found that your room met all of our required facts. I was wondering if you could rent your hall with a year lease.
Moreover
Linking Words
, do not worry about the terms, we are pleased to offer the same as your requested amount. If you do not mind, we want to look and check around the actual condition of the room
first
Linking Words
 before signing. If it is in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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perfect condition, we would
like
Add the particle
tolike
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 use your hall
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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 from the
first
Linking Words
 day of April. Yours faithfully, Tun Naung Win

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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