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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all time even on holidays . Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages

#employers #contact #staff #time #holidays #development
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In
this
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 day and age, there are often concerns about
maintainting
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maintaining
 a healthy balance between one’s
work
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 and personal life.
However
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, it is a
well established
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well-established
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 practice among some
employers
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 to keep in touch with their
employees
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 even during holidays in
orders
Fix the agreement mistake
order
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 to deal with the numerous
Use synonyms
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
show examples
 problems to survive in the competitive business world. In
this
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essay
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,essay
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 I will look at the advantages of having
on call
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on-call
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 duties arranged and the disadvantages associated with being contacted by
employers
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 all the time. On one hand, there are some organizations, where requesting staff members to take part in duties even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 are on leave will be more advantageous to their clients. Take
health
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the health
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 sector as an example. In order to enhance public health, all the professionals including physicians and paramedics
needs
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need
show examples
 to
work
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 harder around the clock, no matter what. In spite of the fact that they are being paid extra for the valuable service, it is more about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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job satisfaction in the long term. Another benefit of having
on call
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on-call
show examples
 shifts is in
turns
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turn
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 of technical breakdowns.
In other
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words
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,words
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 most
of
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apply
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Use synonyms
employers
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the employers
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 have ready-made strategies to overcome unexpected issues associated with machinery
,
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apply
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 so that they will not lose profit.
For instance
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, in many textile garments, staff are allocated to act out immediately in case of any breakdown, because they need to be as competitive as their counterparts to be consistent in business.
On the other hand
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, if we consider the drawbacks of
this
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 development, it will be difficult for
employees
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 to switch off during holidays
,
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apply
show examples
 because the call of duty is always in
back
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the back
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 of their minds.
As a result
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, many staff members tend to have a poor
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work life
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work-life
show examples
 balance and
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 likely to develop
stress related
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stress-related
show examples
illness
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illnesses
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,
such
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 as heart problems and mental disorders.
In addition
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 to that, some
employees
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 may cherish their personal relationships over a job they find toxic and may quit jobs. In conclusion,
this
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 concept brings more advantages than disadvantages when
employees
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 are concerned.
Therefore
Linking Words
employers
Use synonyms
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 to follow a well-balanced approach while implementing rules and regulations on indicating
on call
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on-call
show examples
 duties.
Submitted by rohan2739 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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