IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for the different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that it is more beneficial to
work
Use synonyms
 throughout their
life
Use synonyms
 in
one
Use synonyms
 organisation whereas, others claim its much better to keep on changing the workplaces.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both the aspects and my opinion which
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
show examples
 the
second
Linking Words
 statement.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many individuals opt to
work
Use synonyms
 for
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 companies throughout their lives.
This
Linking Words
 could be due to many reasons
such
Linking Words
 as comfort zone , annual increments or
hike
Correct article usage
a hike
show examples
 in the salary and
work
Use synonyms
 satisfaction. It mostly depends upon an
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
 perspective and thinking.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
one
Use synonyms
 of the surveys in India, it was found that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the people choose
one
Use synonyms
 job entire their lives and specifically in
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
 sector.
One
Use synonyms
 of the reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 is the pension policy and health benefits they get at the time of retirement.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that changing jobs at a particular interval of time is a good choice. It helps to enhance
ones
Change noun form
one's
show examples
 career growth. Working for different organisations,
accomplishing
Correct word choice
and accomplishing
show examples
 different tasks helps in overall development. Career and
life
Use synonyms
becomes
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 stagnant pursuing
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
work
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of security is less but on the
counter part
Correct your spelling
counterpart
show examples
 chances of
achivements
Correct your spelling
achievements
 are more. Nowadays more and more people are opting to
work
Use synonyms
 overseas leaving their previous jobs for better family
life
Use synonyms
, good perks and most importantly for their personal growth at
Use synonyms
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
 level. In a nutshell, it depends upon the
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
 choice. Some never want to come out of their comfort zone
througout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 their career whereas, others want to progress and achieve their desired goals by learning as well as working
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different places and I strongly believe if
one
Use synonyms
 wants to gain something in
life
Use synonyms
 change is
must
Add an article
a must
show examples
.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: