Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors in major sports competition such as Olympic Games and football World Cup etc. It is better to spend money encouraging children take up sports at a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
#countries #money #competitors #sports #competition #olympic #games #football #world #cup #children #age
Government
spending is always at
a focal point of discussion. Especially, as encouraging competitors costs a huge amount of money, some Change preposition
apply
people
think that this
is not subbestable. I totally agree with the statement that government
should spend funds to motivate Correct article usage
the government
children
to play sports
at a young age. I feel this
way for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
Firstly
, the government
's income should be equally divided throughout the
society. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, in Japan, 60% of the national budget comes from taxes, e.g. value-added tax and corporate tax. If the government
spent
enormous funds on only a few Wrong verb form
spends
sports
players who are eligible for major games, such
as Olympic
Games, it's not in line with Correct article usage
the Olympic
an
equality among the citizens which should be guaranteed by countries. Remove the article
apply
On the contrary
, if that money will
Verb problem
is
spend
on young Wrong verb form
spent
people
's sports
activities, more people
can benefit from the alternative spending policy. With that being said, from the viewpoint of citizens' equal rights, motivating young people
would be more suitable than just investing in sophisticated sports
players.
Secondly
, if countries put an emphasis on young children
's physical education, it should strengthen citizens' physical health. Take my case for example
. When I was a primary school student, the school got a grant from the government
, with which students can
participate in Wrong verb form
could
after school
volleyball classes for free. As one of my friends who Add a hyphen
after-school
are
absolutely good at volleyball, she decided to pursue her career as an international player, and now she is playing as a professional volleyball player. Since spending money on young Correct subject-verb agreement
is
children
allows them to give
a chance to find their hidden talent, it should end up supporting national Wrong verb form
be given
sports
. Consequently
, taking care of sports
activities for young people
who live in the country is a better option.
To summarize, government
funds should be spent on national children
's sports
activities, this
is because the government
budget should be distributed to the people
who have national citizenship of the country as much as possible and because providing young children
supports national sports
competitiveness overall
. Therefore
, it is clear that
the idea of granting for children
to play sports
can be preferable to granting for competitors in major sports
events. After a thorough analysis on
Change preposition
of
this
subject, it is predicted that the positive effects of the debate over the cost of young people
's physical education opportunities will always be greater than the negative effects, and because of this
, I completely agree that government
should prioritise children
over professional players,
when it comes for them to submit the budget.Remove the comma
apply
Submitted by mao.kaneko0204 on
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task response
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of government spending on encouraging children to take up sports at a young age. The two reasons provided are relevant and well-developed.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion. The essay is logically organized with clear transitions between paragraphs, enhancing the overall coherence.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.