You have seen an advertisement in an Australian Magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter Why would you like the job Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #year #child #parents #job #person #time #australia

Dear sir My name is Navdeep. I have seen your advertisement regarding

care

Add an article

the care

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of your 6 years old

child

in an Australian magazine. I would like to be considered for

this

job

and I assure you that I will take proper care of your

child

. I recently come to Australia from my

Homecountry

Fix capitalization

homecountry

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at the invitation of my uncle to live with him for one year. So I am free to do any

job

. I would like to

take

Correct your spelling

make

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this

work as

Add a verb

am I

was I

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really fond of children and their way of solving problems. I have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one year experience of working in a

Child

Health Clinic and I

also

did

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

creche

Correct article usage

a creche

show examples

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

I have my younger brother which is 7 years old so it would be easy for me to look after your

child

. I would like to spend my free time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

visiting Australia's monuments. My one school friend is

also

in Australia. I'm planning to meet him. I hope you would give me a chance to take

this

job

and would be satisfied

Change preposition

with

show examples

my work. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully Navdeep

kaur

Change the capitalization

Kaur

show examples

Submitted by navdeepkaur61906 on Sat May 07 2022

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

190 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The Greeting

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part-time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of it's effect on a child.

Some people believe that education and healthcare should be free of charge and funded by the government. Others think that it should be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.