You have seen an advertisement in an Australian Magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter Why would you like the job Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

Dear sir My name is Navdeep. I have seen your advertisement regarding
care
Add an article
the care

The noun phrase care seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of your 6 years old
child
in an Australian magazine. I would like to be considered for
this
job
and I assure you that I will take proper care of your
child
. I recently come to Australia from my
Homecountry
Fix capitalization
homecountry

Homecountry does not appear to be a proper noun. Consider lowercasing it.

show examples
at the invitation of my uncle to live with him for one year. So I am free to do any
job
. I would like to
take
Correct your spelling
make

The word take doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
this
work as
I
Add a verb
am I
was I

Your sentence appears to be missing a verb.

show examples
really fond of children and their way of solving problems. I have
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
one year experience of working in a
Child
Health Clinic and I
also
did
job
Correct article usage
a job

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
at
creche
Correct article usage
a creche

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Moreover. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
I have my younger brother which is 7 years old so it would be easy for me to look after your
child
. I would like to spend my free time
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
visiting Australia's monuments. My one school friend is
also
in Australia. I'm planning to meet him. I hope you would give me a chance to take
this
job
and would be satisfied
by
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
my work. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully Navdeep
kaur
Change the capitalization
Kaur

It appears that the word kaur may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

show examples
Submitted by navdeepkaur61906 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improve your writing score in 2 weeks
Instantly see mistakes you've made and learn how to avoid them.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Check IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2 Online
Just type your IELTS essay and receive a clear, detailed report and band score in a moment.