IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people say that I young person should spend a time building us successful career others think their spending time with friends and families more important discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #person #time #career #friends #families
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed by many that youngsters must be career-oriented,whereas, others laud the significance of family time at a young
age
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, the said
age
Use synonyms
 should be the right balance of both personal and professional
life
Use synonyms
 because negligence towards one can ultimately destroy the other side. According to the supporters of the former viewpoint, adolescence is a particular time when an individual possesses the capability to make a bright future. Not surprisingly, an established future requires a person to devote their full energy,strength and competence without dwindling their concentration on anything else. Undoubtedly, these all characteristics are stronger in puberty which makes the spirit of
life
Use synonyms
 suitable to build a career faster than other
age
Use synonyms
 groups. According to a survey based on 250 autobiographies and biographies around the world, almost 7 in 10 people fulfiled their dreams in their younger
age
Use synonyms
 in the 70s.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it is mandatory to prioritise professional goals when one is young. According to the
second
Linking Words
 school of thought, family and friends are the highly essential part of everyone's
life
Use synonyms
 which must not be backfired ,especially, for young individuals. Suffice to say, a young person has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of relations which are completely dependent on him at
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, parents, spouse and children, to name a few.
Also
Linking Words
, dear social
life
Use synonyms
 seques their attention which includes friends and relatives. If not refreshed periodically, chances are greater than these all relations get fade with the time and successful career ,
then
Linking Words
 ,does not give joy and happiness to the person who is alone socially. Take ,
for example
Linking Words
 ,Aamir Khan a leading actor in India who recently in his interview on a talk show revealed that despite being ideally famous in his profession, he is a failure in his personal
life
Use synonyms
 since he has so many discords and disputes with his family members. In conclusion, family and career alike play a role in youngsters lights so ,according to me, one must not be overlooked for another.
Submitted by lvpreetxsmax on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: