Some people think that computer games give negative effects for the people. discuss and give your opinion.

#people #computer #games #effects

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no doubt, that these days people copy others buy the latest electronic

divises

Correct your spelling

devices

and use more and more model computer or laptop in the

contemporay

Correct your spelling

contemporary

world. Some certain individuals believe that

Correct your spelling

computer

show examples

compter

Correct your spelling

computer

show examples

games

Use synonyms

dive a detrimental effect on the

person

Use synonyms

and society. In my opinion, I think

this

Linking Words

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

who

adicted

Correct your spelling

addicted

with them, offers

dangorious

Correct your spelling

dangerous

results to each people and the nation. On the

first

Linking Words

hand, one serious effect of addiction to above mention

games

Use synonyms

is social withdrawal which means the

person

Use synonyms

tends to have a distance or gap between his family, friends, relatives or society.

As a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

he leads to

unrespect

Replace the word

disrespect

show examples

, ignoring or not attending

culteral

Correct your spelling

cultural

functions or even not bothering of his normal activity daily living.

For instance

Linking Words

, while he

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

hours and hours above

mention

Correct subject-verb agreement

mentions

show examples

abusive single or group play which shows artificial

intelegence

Correct your spelling

intelligence

. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, they have a limited period of engaging family value time, for going out with friends, for social interactions as a responsible adult. It

automatically

Add a missing verb

is automatically

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

impossible to fulfil his job duties, his family and social needs.

Secondly

Linking Words

, one of

crucial

Add an article

the crucial

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

is the

person

Use synonyms

when sitting and entertaining that game on

gagets

Correct your spelling

gadgets

for a long time, he tries to lock in his room most of the

timeto

Correct your spelling

time to

minimise disturbances affect for the activity from his family, and

wishion

Correct your spelling

wishing

vision

is to win the game without giving up.

Moreover

Linking Words

, he

escaps

Correct your spelling

escapes

escaped

from his meals, and he does not receive a proper

balenced

Correct your spelling

balanced

diet which is more important in

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, he unknowingly

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

longer health issues because of

decreases

Wrong verb form

decreased

show examples

physical

exercise

Change the noun form

exercises

show examples

such

Linking Words

as obesity, fluctuation in his blood pressure, diabetes or cardiac disease physically or anxiety or

epression

Correct your spelling

depression

mentally. Health

magacines

Correct your spelling

magazines

say in daily

newspars

Correct your spelling

newspapers

often some people get one or more health problems. Ultimately, the use for excessive

games

Use synonyms

on the devices, if he

study

Change the verb form

studies

show examples

at school or

Change the verb form

goes

show examples

for higher education at university

tha

Correct your spelling

that

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

repeatedly complains or

wornigs

Correct your spelling

warnings

by teachers or head of

institute

Add an article

the institute

an institute

show examples

as he will not maintain punctuality and

failling

Correct your spelling

failing

to submit assignments the given duration. So he would receive fever

scors

Correct your spelling

scores

score

in the exams

andd

Correct your spelling

and

eventually will

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

to postpone his continue education or some of the stop

eduation

Correct your spelling

education

. It

also

Linking Words

Replace the word

affects

show examples

effects

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

his siblings

directely

Correct your spelling

directly

indirectely

Correct your spelling

indirectly

and his parents will have to spend more money on a particular teenager unnecessary.

This

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

develops as a family

comflict

Correct your spelling

conflict

with parents due to

tiredness

Correct article usage

the tiredness

show examples

of them

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

earning more money to complete their needs and at the end of the story

remins

Correct your spelling

remains

reminds

Change the article

show examples

unhealthy family. In conclusion,

neverthless

Correct your spelling

nevertheless

, the

person

Use synonyms

who uses more computer

games

Use synonyms

grows always danger aspects of his life as delaying important functions, no friends gathering or

finally

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

to damaging effects of family

menbers

Correct your spelling

members

whole s

Correct your spelling

wholes

show examples

Submitted by rdbowalgaha on Tue May 10 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
52
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

459 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Due to the popularization of the world-famous brands in developing countries after entering the 21st century, the majority of products and shops are identical in different areas. From my perspective, this phenomenon will cause more drawbacks than benefits to the world, which will be further discussed in this essay.
6
band
Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The issue of preserving traditional culture has sparked considerable debate in recent times. While some people argue that it is crucial for people to maintain the traditional way of life, others maintain that people nowadays tend to pay no attention to protecting the traditional heritage. In my opinion, I totally agree with the subsequent point of view. This essay will explore both sides of this argument before reaching a conclusion.
5
band
Social media has replaced the traditional methods of communication, and people use more and more social media to communicate, and to follow news and events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
Social news such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are tools used to communicate with communities of different cultures, races and ethnicities across the globe.
6.5
band
Learning English at school is often seen as more important than local languages.If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?
In today's modern society, there are compelling reasons to learn English or to focus on improving local languages instead. Here are the advantages of both approaches.
4.5
band
Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
People nowadays are preferring eating junk foods despite knowing its consequences on health. Some people believes that it is important to impose tax on unhealthy food items whereas other says that it is not necessary to force fat tax. In my opinion, tax on unhealthy food should be imposed as people now are becoming unhealthy and obese due to the consumption of more junk food.

Some people think that computer games give negative effects for the people. discuss and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Social media has replaced the traditional methods of communication, and people use more and more social media to communicate, and to follow news and events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than local languages.If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?