IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#places #age #cultures #youth
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It is often argued that senior citizens of the
society
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
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 many
benfits
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benefits
 to
new
Correct article usage
the new
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 generation and
country
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.
Although
Linking Words
 old
people
Use synonyms
 may be considered
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
a
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burden
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a burden
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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, they play
imperative
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an imperative
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 role in
shape
Wrong verb form
shaping
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 the young
population
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, why old
people
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 are valued in one
society
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 while
youth
Use synonyms
 in other cultures, will be discussed.
To embark
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Embark
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on
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apply
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,
senior
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a senior
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 citizen of the
society
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 has myriads of advantages while living
in
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apply
show examples
society
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. In countries like
India
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,India
show examples
 elders are
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 regarded generation of the
society
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 as they have experience as well as knowledge. They could impart their lifetime achievement to
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 and teach them how to fight
obstacle
Fix the agreement mistake
obstacles
show examples
 of life.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 study by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Queen's University has found that families living with their grandparents
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 eighty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 financial problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
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 after retirement provides
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
molar support as well as act as a caretaker
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
show examples
population
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, grandparents assist families by binding them in
tough
Add an article
a tough
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time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
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 support in
handing
Correct your spelling
handling
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 daily chaos.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in many countries
youth
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 is appreciated most among the other age group of the
society
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. Adults are the main workforce of the
country
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 and contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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 the most. They do not put
burden
Add an article
the burden
a burden
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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 in the terms of medical
instead
Linking Words
 they repay the
country
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 in the form of taxes.
For example
Linking Words
, the Times Now has reported that India has
sevety
Correct your spelling
seventy
percent
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percentage
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 of taxpayers
lies
Correct subject-verb agreement
lie
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 in the age bracket of twenty to fifty.
Society
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appreciate
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appreciates
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 the
middle aged
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middle-aged
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population
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 of the
country
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 because they
the
Add a missing verb
are the
show examples
 main
contributer
Correct your spelling
contributor
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 uplifting the economy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, societies
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 high
return
Fix the agreement mistake
returns
show examples
 from
youth
Use synonyms
 and
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 senior citizens. In conclusion, it is common practice in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highly populated counties to appreciate
youth
Use synonyms
 more than older
people
Use synonyms
.
Young
Add an article
The young
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 is the real workforce of the nation.
Submitted by simransaran8 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
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