IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasis #products #development
Currently, it is clear that enterprises claim their
products
 are highly original. In
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will highlight the reasons and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that it is a negative trend. In terms of the reason why
companies
 emphasise the creativity of
products
, they expect to achieve their own competitive advantage . To be specific, In a competitive market, unique goods can impress customers and trigger their curiosity.
For example
, multi-function toilets are more popular than common toilets for the public. Customers are interested in new functions of them and convince that
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 style of toilets can bring a better experience to them.
However
, insisting on creativity brings high
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 to the enterprise. To be specific,
companies
 need to spend a quite long time on brainstorming and market research for seeking cases of product design. They
also
 invest funds in exploring new
products
. Unfortunately, it is inevitable to have failure. On top of that, many
companies
 are usually in trouble because they are accused of plagiarism. To
develop
Wrong verb form
Developing
show examples
new ideas quickly, the way is a shortcut for designers. In conclusion, the reason behind the trend is to make people feel
curiosity
Replace the word
curious
show examples
 about their
products
 and
attracting
Wrong verb form
attract
show examples
 them to purchase. I argue that the
companies
 have to bear the failure of new
products
 and plagiarism is existent
Submitted by youhua94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: