IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties.

#people #countries #periods #time #job #study #face #difficulties
It is true that going to other
countries
 has been increasing. It seems clear that men go aboard for several reasons. Multiple
people
 decided to go overseas to find a job or study. Living in other
countries
 has some advantages.
Besides
, it
also
 has difficulties. It seems advantageous that living aboard can expand your understanding. Learning a new language to bring the
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 to make new friends and different cultures. It
also
 develops your experience.
Next
, moving aboard can lead to
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 quality of life.
Quality
Correct article usage
The quality
show examples
 of life in each country is different. Many
people
 living in developing
countries
 want to transfer to developed
countries
 because they want to earn extra income.
On the other hand
, there are a number of disadvantages of living in other
countries
 that
people
 should take into consideration.
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
 it is culture shock. Many
people
 take a year to get used to the living environment.
This
 often leads to homesickness and in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 it has a negative impact on health.
Secondly
, it is racism. Racism was pervasive all over the world. There is no sign that it is going to stop any time soon. The majority of
people
,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 black
people
 living aboard , have said they experienced the same direct public racism. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 starting life in foreign
countries
 certain benefits, but it
negative
Add a missing verb
has negative
show examples
 consequences should not be overlooked.
Submitted by nmthuy96yb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: