Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development than playing computer games. What extent do you agree or disagree.

It is argued that
children
had better spend most of their time playing outdoor
games
instead
of indoor
games
. I
also
agree with
this
statement that doing physical
activities
has countless benefits for
children
's growth. 
Firstly
, participation in outdoor
activities
improves
children
's health.
In other words
, should
children
invest maximum hours in exercise outdoors, they will breathe in
fresh
Add an article
the fresh

The noun phrase fresh air seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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air, which helps to improve their immune system.
Also
, these days ,
children
face
obesity issues ,so outdoor
activities
can help to prevent
this
problem.
Consequently
, Outdoor
games
are more important for
children
's development.
This
is because physical fitness has become a key factor in
children
's lives.
For example
,  a survey conducted by Oxford University, with the help of school students who do outdoor
activities
in their daily routine found that they are more creative and fit as compared to other students. 
Moreover
, outdoor
activities
not only enhance physical fitness but
also
interpersonal skills. To explain it, when
children
play outside,
then
they can interact
face
to
face
with other people .
Hence
, these situations can teach them lots of things
such
as communication skills, cooperation  and teamwork, which can be useful in their future professional life .
As a result
, if
children
spend more time on computer
games
,
then
they will  
deprived
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be deprived

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of these benefits and
also
face
some help issues,
such
as
overweight
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being overweight

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and eyesight problems.
Thus
, young people can save precious time by investing in outdoor
activities
. In conclusion , I believe that but for outdoor
games
,
children
cannot progress in their personal and professional life.
Submitted by lvpreetxsmax on

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