Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development than playing computer games. What extent do you agree or disagree.

It is argued that
children
had better spend most of their
time
playing outdoor
games
instead
of indoor
games
. I
also
agree with
this
statement that doing physical
activities
has countless benefits for
children
's mental and physical development.
Firstly
, participation in outdoor
activities
improves
children
's health.
In other words
, should
children
invest maximum hours in exercise outdoors, they will breathe in the fresh air, which helps to build up their immune system.
Also
, these days ,
children
face
obesity issues ,so outdoor pursuits can help to prevent
this
problem.
Consequently
,Outdoor sports are more important for
children
's development.
This
is because physical fitness has become a key factor in
children
's lives.
For example
,  a survey conducted by Oxford University, with the help of school students who do outdoor
activities
in their daily routine found that they are more creative and fit as compared to other students. 
Moreover
, outdoor
activities
not only enhance physical fitness but
also
interpersonal skills. To explain it, when
children
play outside,
then
they can interact
face
to
face
with other people .
Hence
, these situations can teach them lots of things
such
as communication skills, cooperation  and teamwork, which can be useful in their future professional life .
As a result
, if
children
spend more
time
on computer
games
,
then
they will be  deprived of these benefits and
also
face
some help issues,
such
as being overweight and having eyesight problems.
Thus
, young people can save precious
time
by investing in outdoor
activities
. In conclusion ,
children
who spend too much
time
on computer
games
can suffer from mental illness,
therefore
, outdoor
activities
are more fruitful for
children
's growth .
Submitted by lvpreetxsmax on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: