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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
In fact, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals
Add an article
the individuals
show examples
 believe
high
Add an article
the high
a high
show examples
 range of
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
 is crucial
however
 they do not appeal
that
Change preposition
to that
show examples
job
position
. Generally, I completely disagree with
this
 opinion and think that it is obviously impossible
earn
Fix the infinitive
to earn
show examples
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount of wage with
job
 satisfaction.
Firstly
, doing
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
 without interest would cause becoming jobless.
Moreover
,
how
Correct word choice
if
show examples
 someone
Add a missing verb
is concern
show examples
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 about his
job
, he would improve
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his
job
.
For example
, a manager who
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
 tolerate stress in his
job
, will not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to decide suitable in
critical
Add an article
a critical
show examples
 situation.
Furthermore
, he does not like his
job
position
 indeed. Afterwards, he cannot tolerate
hardship
Correct article usage
the hardship
show examples
 of his work
position
.
Besides
, not only he will not develop himself
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work but
also
 he may lose his
job
, he
however
 earns
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 income.
Secondly
, someone who
dislike
Change the verb form
dislikes
show examples
 work might discourage
his
Change preposition
by his
show examples
job
.
Then
, he is due to do his duty unsuitable and
his
Change the pronoun
he
show examples
 is always nagging. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 he thinks that he is not
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the right
position
.
For instance
, a person who wants always to be
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a professional
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
show examples
,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a truck driver
instead
, while he earns
well
Add an article
a well
show examples
 salary. So, he thinks about his dream and it might
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
never satisfies his
job
. In conclusion, I believe satisfaction is an important factor in
career
Correct article usage
the career
show examples
 life of people. Whereas, if people wanted to have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 life, choosing the correct and suitable
job
 would be a basic factor.
Submitted by ahad.dana on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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