IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Movies and computer games containing violence are popular. Some people say they have a negative effect on society and should be censored. Others say they are just harmless relaxation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#movies #computer #games #violence #people #effect #society #relaxation
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With an economic revolution and with the development of
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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in
Change preposition
apply
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these days
Correct your spelling
anyone
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any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
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 can find out what he wants without
headache
Correct article usage
a headache
show examples
. And by one click on a button can choose and be happy with what he
like
Correct subject-verb agreement
likes
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 and prefer.
Furthermore
 many numbers of
newspapers
 and magazines will be found on internet media
as a result
 of
increasing
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increase
show examples
 in technology,
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
 numbers of
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
 will be easier and more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 before . In
future
Add a comma
,future
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 the life of new generations of human beings will be much
Correct quantifier usage
more funny
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funny
Replace the word
fun
show examples
 than before because of a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 things will be available in front of their eyes. On the other
side
Add a comma
,side
show examples
 many people don't know how to deal with technology
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 the elderly,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 they have weak vision with
reflection
Add an article
the reflection
a reflection
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 of
light
Add an article
the light
show examples
 screen so they are fighting to read what they want and
also
 we can find some people with elderly miss to the memories in their past whenever they were reading
newspapers
 in their emotional places like works and their office so that they prefer to use printed materials rather than online reading. When we think about these people we can say that the world is divided into two sides, one
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
who
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
show examples
 online reading and the other
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
who likes
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 way like printed
newspapers
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 in spite of the spread of technology and digital
media
Add a comma
,media
show examples
 we can
seee
Correct your spelling
see
many
Correct word choice
that many
show examples
 numbers of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 prefer printed
newspapers
.
Submitted by Naela78alsheikahmad on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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