Some people believe famous people’s support towards international aid organizations draws attention to problems, Others think celebrities make the problem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, there is an opinion which considers that the
support
from famous
people
towards international
aid
organizations is helpful for addressing the
problems
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
gaining more attention from the public.
However
, there is a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
people
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
not agree with
this
opinion. From my perspective, I think the
support
from famous
people
can contribute a lot to
deal
Wrong verb form
dealing
show examples
with some
problems
. Given the huge influence of famous
people
, their
support
will definitely be useful.
Firstly
, famous
people
often have
considerable
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a considerable
the considerable
show examples
number of fans who follow every action of their
ideos
Correct your spelling
ideas
videos
, which results that
once famous
Add a hyphen
once-famous
show examples
people
claim to stand with one international
aid
organization
, their fans will take some actions,
for example
,
donate
Wrong verb form
donating
show examples
, to respond
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
ideo’s
Correct your spelling
video's
support
, that may enable
this
international
aid
organization
to gain more donations thereby increasing their investment in concerned
problems
.
Moreover
, as the raising of public attention, more mass media will follow the progress of
concerned
Replace the word
concerning
show examples
issues, which is beneficial to strengthen the supervision of relevant
problems
.
However
, it is
also
worth
to note
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noting
show examples
that, if too many hits participate
into
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in
show examples
the
concerned
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concerning
show examples
issues in
a
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an
show examples
unserious way, the nature of their
support
toward the international
aid
organization
will be prone to
distort
Replace the word
distortion
show examples
and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
will consider the concerned
isses
Correct your spelling
issues
as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
entertainment activities or celebrities. In my opinion, it is a good thing if famous
people
adopt a supportive attitude
to
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toward
show examples
an international
aid
organization
. Since the public attention
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is brought by famous
people
’s participation can generate extra pressure on
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
or relevant
adminstrative
Correct your spelling
administrative
institutions. According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history,
this
kind of pressure usually can push the public power to pay more
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
attentions
Correct your spelling
attention
show examples
to the concerned issues and promote the solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
problem
Correct article usage
the problem
show examples
come out.
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international aid organizations
  • draws attention
  • less important
  • famous people
  • celebrities
  • volunteer support
  • overshadow
  • dilute
  • sustainability
  • endorsement
  • genuine
  • advocacy
  • deeper understanding
  • engaged
  • informed base
  • committed
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