Getting promotions are one of the biggest motivators for hard work in the modern workplace. Why are people so driven to receive promotions? What other factors motivate people to work hard?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is generally acknowledged that getting
promotions
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
a key factor in encouraging
workers
Use synonyms
to
work
Use synonyms
hard.
This
Linking Words
essay will outline the reasons why
promotions
Use synonyms
are important and suggest other factors that should be taken into consideration.
To begin
Linking Words
with, receiving
promotions
Use synonyms
provides financial stability to
workers
Use synonyms
. When
employees
Use synonyms
are promoted, to a certain degree, they can be given more money by
companies
Use synonyms
. Since earning money is the ultimate goal for the majority of
workers
Use synonyms
, promoted
workers
Use synonyms
become satisfied with monetary rewards.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when
companies
Use synonyms
decide
employees
Use synonyms
to
promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
show examples
, they feel grateful to their
companies
Use synonyms
. Since
people
Use synonyms
believe that
companies
Use synonyms
are interested in
workers
Use synonyms
and consider
workers
Use synonyms
as valuable
people
Use synonyms
, it can motivate
workers
Use synonyms
to contribute to
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by the Korea Labour Foundation has revealed that a significant number of promoted
employees
Use synonyms
are pleased to devote their
time
Use synonyms
to working at
companies
Use synonyms
. As the example clearly illustrates,
promotions
Use synonyms
are important for
workers
Use synonyms
to
work
Use synonyms
hard.
However
Linking Words
, there are other significant factors that motivate workforces. First of all, a peaceful working atmosphere can encourage
workers
Use synonyms
concentrate
Add the particle
to concentrate
show examples
on tasks well. As the majority of
work
Use synonyms
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
teamwork, when
workers
Use synonyms
respect one another
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and have belongings, they can get better performance. If there is harassment or bullying at
work
Use synonyms
, conflicts would
occurred
Change the verb form
occur
show examples
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
thereby making
people
Use synonyms
feel dissatisfied.
Moreover
Linking Words
, providing proper leisure
time
Use synonyms
can motivate
employees
Use synonyms
as they can release stress during vacation. In the modern era,
people
Use synonyms
who
work
Use synonyms
hard without having free
time
Use synonyms
have excessive stress. Not only can stress cause a lack of relationships among friends and family
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
it may
also
Linking Words
contribute to physical and mental illnesses, thereby leading to burnout syndrome.
As a result
Linking Words
, they cannot
work
Use synonyms
well
due to
Linking Words
sickness.
For instance
Linking Words
, recent media in Korea reports that
people
Use synonyms
who have
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
the suitable
show examples
amount of free
time
Use synonyms
performed 20% more than others.
Therefore
Linking Words
, having a vacation can motivate
workers
Use synonyms
to increase productivity. In conclusion, providing
promotions
Use synonyms
for
workers
Use synonyms
is an efficient means of motivating them to
work
Use synonyms
hard since it increases job satisfaction with money and
acknowledgy
Correct your spelling
acknowledgement
. What is more, providing a peaceful working environment and leisure
time
Use synonyms
can
also
Linking Words
be crucial to encourage them to enhance
working
Correct pronoun usage
their working
show examples
efficiency
Submitted by hiasince38 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but need to be strengthened to provide a clearer preview and summary of the main points.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response with clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the specific examples provided could be more relevant and effectively support the main points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: