IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #countries #periods #time #job #study #face #difficulties #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The immigration
Correct article usage
Immigration
show examples
 is a big completion for many numbers of
people
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 it is a very important thing for
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 and when we think about
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the important and why they are doing
this
Linking Words
 thing we will find out many reasons
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that in
this
Linking Words
 essay I will talk about immigration and what it makes effects on
people
Use synonyms
 and countries. These days many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 immigrate and leave their countries for several reasons
such
Linking Words
 as studying and working
also
Linking Words
 there is
people
Use synonyms
miss
Correct pronoun usage
who miss
show examples
 to
safe
Add an article
a safe
show examples
 life for
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 and their families and far away from the war and fighting.
Firstly
Linking Words
 I believe that the most important reason for immigration is to get
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 degree in studying which makes huge
Correct your spelling
difference
show examples
deference
Correct your spelling
difference
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 life and for their
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 a person who
immigrate
Change the verb form
immigrates
show examples
 will face multi numbers challenges
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all sides of his life like the way of eating food , culture,
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
 and how to
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 and because of no gain without pain I believe anyone who decided to leave the country of birth
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to be patient and accept any things could
changes
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 and improves his skills and makes him qualified when he aquire
a good skills
Correct the article-noun agreement
good skills
a good skill
show examples
.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 the country will win a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 advantages in all
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 categories when it receives
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
qualified
Add the comma(s)
,qualified
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. In a conclusion in spite of the imitation
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 exhausted from the energy of the country but on the other
side
Add a comma
,side
show examples
 it will earn a big fortune for its future.
Submitted by Naela78alsheikahmad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: