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Band 3.5

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #countries #periods #time #job #study #face #difficulties #country
The immigration
Correct article usage
Immigration
show examples
 is a big completion for many numbers of
people
 and
also
 it is a very important thing for
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 and when we think about
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the important and why they are doing
this
 thing we will find out many reasons
,
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apply
show examples
so that in
this
 essay I will talk about immigration and what it makes effects on
people
 and countries. These days many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 immigrate and leave their countries for several reasons
such
 as studying and working
also
 there is
people
miss
Correct pronoun usage
who miss
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 to
safe
Add an article
a safe
show examples
 life for
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 and their families and far away from the war and fighting.
Firstly
 I believe that the most important reason for immigration is to get
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 degree in studying which makes huge
Correct your spelling
difference
show examples
deference
Correct your spelling
difference
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 life and for their
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
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.
However
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,However
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 a person who
immigrate
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immigrates
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 will face multi numbers challenges
in
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on
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 all sides of his life like the way of eating food , culture,
believes
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beliefs
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 and how to
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
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 and because of no gain without pain I believe anyone who decided to leave the country of birth
have
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has
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 to be patient and accept any things could
changes
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change
show examples
 and improves his skills and makes him qualified when he aquire
a good skills
Correct the article-noun agreement
good skills
a good skill
show examples
.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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 the country will win a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
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 advantages in all
it
Change the pronoun
its
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 categories when it receives
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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qualified
Add the comma(s)
,qualified
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people
. In a conclusion in spite of the imitation
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 exhausted from the energy of the country but on the other
side
Add a comma
,side
show examples
 it will earn a big fortune for its future.
Submitted by Naela78alsheikahmad on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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