The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years. Discuss the causes and effects

#percentage #children #society #years #effects

The above statement illustrates that the rate of obese children is increased by around 20% in western countries in the

last

decade. The main reason for having a higher rate of children suffering from obesity is not participating in any physical activities like sports, gym and

also

overconsumption of carbohydrates.

For instance

, kids nowadays are addicted to online gaming and not motivated to do fitness work.

In addition

, taking food at improper timing is

also

responsible for the chances of facing obesity.

As a result

, younger ones are fighting with consequences like diabetes rates are overrated which affect a healthy lifestyle.

In addition

this

, overspending time on electronic gadgets in results

Change preposition

apply

show examples

eyesight problems. In conclusion, the children need to take care of their intake of healthy food and

also

need to spend a reasonable time on physical exercise to overcome the consequences.

Submitted by praveenkumarputchala1998 on Tue May 17 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

144 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20 % in the last 10 years. Discuss the causes and effects

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make a greater contribution to society should be paid more than sports athletes and entertainment stars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that increasing tax on various industries will reduce pollution whereas others believe that there are better ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.