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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, students are required to study a limited range of subjects from the age of fifteen. In other countries, however, students study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each education system? Which system is better?

Each country has its own educational system with
different
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a different
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 types of
the
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apply
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syllabus. In some
systems
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 ,
for example
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, the Thai education system,
students
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 are required to
study
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 a limited
range
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 of
subjects
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 in high school
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while
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, while
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 in some
systems
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,
such
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 as the US
,
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apply
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 and UK
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students
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, students
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 can
study
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 a wide
range
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 of
subjects
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.
Both
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systems
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 have advantages and disadvantages, in my opinion. To
study
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 a limited
range
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 of
subjects
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 from the age of fifteen,
students
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 need to make a decision on their
study
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 path and career path at
the
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an
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 early stage of education.
This
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 system can cause
students
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 to be well-prepared for their higher education in university,
for example
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, in engineering, architecture, medicine, etc. Studying a limited
range
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 of
subjects
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 makes the course more in-depth and more specific to prepare
students
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 for their
study
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 path.
However
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,
students
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 studying a wide
range
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 of
subjects
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 can lead to more freedom to explore themselves and what they like. At the age of fifteen, lots of
students
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 are still not sure about their life after graduation
, with
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. With
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 the wide
range
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 of
subjects
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,
students
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 can explore the subject that they are interested in with no compulsory core modules.
For instance
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, a student can
study
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both
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 Spanish and biology.
Both
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 of the
systems
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 have different aspects of benefit,
a
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and a
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wide
range
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 of
subjects
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 is better in my opinion. From my experience studying limited
subjects
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,
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only Math-Science, which limited my choice in university as well. At that age,
students
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 are still exploring themselves and shouldn’t be limited by the
choice
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choices
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 they made. I was limited to Math-Science
but
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, but
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 I was
also
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 interested in arts, history, and philosophy as well
that
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which
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 I couldn’t choose to
study
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. In conclusion,
both
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 educational
systems
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 have their own benefit
, from
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. From
show examples
 my personal view, a wide
range
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 of
subjects
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 is better because that can give
students
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 the freedom to explore different
subjects
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 they are interested in.

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This helps to follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a variety of sentence structures. This can help make your writing more interesting.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your ideas well.
task achievement
You compare the two education systems well, showing both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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