IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying in their career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #career #life #change #jobs
Nowadays, some
people
 believe that those who can soon recognize their favourable most compatible
job
 and patiently pursue it in a long term tend to experience greater
job
 fulfilment rather than those who lately begin and regularly conduct
job
-hopping. Personally,
although
 there are some benefits from continually working in a company , I disagree with
this
 statement because of for the following reasons.
First
, it is undeniable that beginning a career soon/at a young age can provide workers with various advantages. They seem to have less burden on feeding their families because they are unmarried, and their parents may not retire and still stay healthy.
Hence
, they can fully concentrate on saving money for
further
 intentions plans or unpredictable emergencies which offers them better financial security.
Furthermore
, it is undeniable could be argued that the longer
people
work
 in a specific field, the more experience and knowledge relating to
this
 major they can accumulate.
Therefore
, they will have higher opportunities to enhance their career prospects
such
 as salary increases or promotions.
By contrast
, beginning
work
 lately or regularly changing careers does not only bring disadvantages. When
people
 have a longer time to carefully consider which their most suitable
job
 is, they tend to be more serious and mature with their final decision.
Furthermore
, if current managers do not give employees enough challenges to broaden their skills, it is unavoidable that they will decide to seek other jobs which give them better opportunities to develop their competencies .
Job
 hopping in these cases can be seen as an essential solution
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 can do to prevent themselves from losing motivation and innovation which is a result of repeated routine tasks. In conclusion, due to diverse personal mentality , the way
people
 gain fulfilment from their
job
 may extremely be various . For some
people
, doing a meaningful volunteer
job
 is even more satisfying than normally sitting in the office and having to
work
 against their morals .
Thus
, it would be illogical to consistently relate one’s satisfaction with how big salary and fame they have earned through
work
 .
Submitted by nganthuy1007 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: