IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying in their career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #career #life #change #jobs
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Nowadays, some
people
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 believe that those who can soon recognize their favourable most compatible
job
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 and patiently pursue it in a long term tend to experience greater
job
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 fulfilment rather than those who lately begin and regularly conduct
job
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-hopping. Personally,
although
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 there are some benefits from continually working in a company , I disagree with
this
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 statement because of for the following reasons.
First
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, it is undeniable that beginning a career soon/at a young age can provide workers with various advantages. They seem to have less burden on feeding their families because they are unmarried, and their parents may not retire and still stay healthy.
Hence
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, they can fully concentrate on saving money for
further
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 intentions plans or unpredictable emergencies which offers them better financial security.
Furthermore
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, it is undeniable could be argued that the longer
people
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work
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 in a specific field, the more experience and knowledge relating to
this
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 major they can accumulate.
Therefore
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, they will have higher opportunities to enhance their career prospects
such
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 as salary increases or promotions.
By contrast
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, beginning
work
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 lately or regularly changing careers does not only bring disadvantages. When
people
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 have a longer time to carefully consider which their most suitable
job
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 is, they tend to be more serious and mature with their final decision.
Furthermore
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, if current managers do not give employees enough challenges to broaden their skills, it is unavoidable that they will decide to seek other jobs which give them better opportunities to develop their competencies .
Job
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 hopping in these cases can be seen as an essential solution
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 can do to prevent themselves from losing motivation and innovation which is a result of repeated routine tasks. In conclusion, due to diverse personal mentality , the way
people
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 gain fulfilment from their
job
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 may extremely be various . For some
people
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, doing a meaningful volunteer
job
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 is even more satisfying than normally sitting in the office and having to
work
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 against their morals .
Thus
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, it would be illogical to consistently relate one’s satisfaction with how big salary and fame they have earned through
work
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 .
Submitted by nganthuy1007 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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