IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, However, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #lives #changes #change
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Life
Use synonyms
 has many up and downs;
although
Linking Words
 some individuals prefer to avoid these challenges in their
life
Use synonyms
 and stick to their ordinary
life
Use synonyms
 some
Linking Words
on
Add the comma(s)
,on
show examples
 the other hand, think new shifts are necessary and are
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 beneficial in the course of their
life
Use synonyms
. From my perspective flexibility would help us to be more blest in our
life
Use synonyms
. For some ,keeping their
comfort-zone
Correct your spelling
comfort zone
show examples
 may be the best choice as they do not want their safety. They believe, that following an ordinary way of
life
Use synonyms
 may benefit them in their work and personal
life
Use synonyms
. Changing a job perhaps is the one challenging shifts in every human
life
Use synonyms
 but if individuals keep would not change their workplace and conditions
eventualy
Correct your spelling
eventually
 will be more
saticfied
Correct your spelling
satisfied
 because of raise in their salary and knowing most of their co-workers.
Also
Linking Words
, constant
changes
Use synonyms
 in personal
life
Use synonyms
 may damage a person's family
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a husband who tends to make
changes
Use synonyms
 in various areas like changing his job could
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 his wife because of financial issues caused by changing jobs from time to time.
Conversely
Linking Words
, taking risks during
life
Use synonyms
 may lead a person to enormous successions which may never receive if they play it safe. People who are brave enough to make
changes
Use synonyms
 in their
Correct your spelling
lives
life
life's
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 are more victorious as they may take a risk of quitting a well-payed job for seeking an even better one and mostly they are successful because today employers credit braveness.
This
Linking Words
 method
also
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 opens new doors for individuals
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 youth as a selection between having a monotonous way of
life
Use synonyms
 or an active one could give them the chance of visiting new places and new people that can help them in making a better
life
Use synonyms
 quality. All in all, In some people's opinion, spending a
life
Use synonyms
 with the same methods and not committing any
changes
Use synonyms
 is acceptable
vs
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others myself included believe
changes
Use synonyms
 are a part of our
life
Use synonyms
 and selecting to be flexible toward
life
Use synonyms
 has major benefits for us.
Submitted by parafik on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • mastery
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • personal growth
  • resilience
  • hesitancy
  • risk-taking
  • transitions
  • enrichment
  • equilibrium
What to do next:
Look at other essays: