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Band 4.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, However, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #lives #changes #change
Life
 has many up and downs;
although
 some individuals prefer to avoid these challenges in their
life
 and stick to their ordinary
life
 some
on
Add the comma(s)
,on
show examples
 the other hand, think new shifts are necessary and are
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 beneficial in the course of their
life
. From my perspective flexibility would help us to be more blest in our
life
. For some ,keeping their
comfort-zone
Correct your spelling
comfort zone
show examples
 may be the best choice as they do not want their safety. They believe, that following an ordinary way of
life
 may benefit them in their work and personal
life
. Changing a job perhaps is the one challenging shifts in every human
life
 but if individuals keep would not change their workplace and conditions
eventualy
Correct your spelling
eventually
 will be more
saticfied
Correct your spelling
satisfied
 because of raise in their salary and knowing most of their co-workers.
Also
, constant
changes
 in personal
life
 may damage a person's family
life
.
For instance
, a husband who tends to make
changes
 in various areas like changing his job could
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 his wife because of financial issues caused by changing jobs from time to time.
Conversely
, taking risks during
life
 may lead a person to enormous successions which may never receive if they play it safe. People who are brave enough to make
changes
 in their
Correct your spelling
lives
life
life's
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 are more victorious as they may take a risk of quitting a well-payed job for seeking an even better one and mostly they are successful because today employers credit braveness.
This
 method
also
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 opens new doors for individuals
specially
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especially
show examples
 youth as a selection between having a monotonous way of
life
 or an active one could give them the chance of visiting new places and new people that can help them in making a better
life
 quality. All in all, In some people's opinion, spending a
life
 with the same methods and not committing any
changes
 is acceptable
vs
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others myself included believe
changes
 are a part of our
life
 and selecting to be flexible toward
life
 has major benefits for us.
Submitted by parafik on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • mastery
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • personal growth
  • resilience
  • hesitancy
  • risk-taking
  • transitions
  • enrichment
  • equilibrium
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