Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Preservation of traditional
culture
has been a controversial topic for a century, that teenagers should conserve the local custom, differently, some people
consider it as the personal behaviour. In my point of view, I totally agree with the statement that the traditional way of life
deserves to be sustained by the new generation because if the local culture
is not maintained, it will definitely become extinct. Furthermore
, the world might lose the diversity of civilization.
Nowadays, some customs are scrutinised as hazardousness
to Replace the word
hazardous
life
and the environment, this
encourages Correct word choice
and this
people
to behave differently from their culture
, as proof, the Indian government legislated several beliefs illegal such
as child marriage. In addition
, Some traditions are obsolete because of the complication
of the procedure. Fix the agreement mistake
complications
For instance
, in Thailand, on the Songkran holiday, bringing sand to the temple is rarely seen due to
the intricacy of shipping the sand.
Although
technological development leads people
to access information conveniently, teenagers catch up with worldwide trends more easily but the loss of local culture
should be considered thoroughly , otherwise
, the extinction of custom has occurred globally. For example
, in Japan, the traditional way of life
has been
disappeared slightly because of the Western inclination Unnecessary verb
apply
such
as the outfit that Japanese people
changed to wearing suits instead
of the yukata, thus
, the majority of them do not know how to wear the yukata, the estimated result is that in the future none of them can use the national dress. Moreover
, this
circumstance might cause civilisation to have less diversity. Conservation is necessary to be conducted properly by the governments to continue the variousness of life
.
In conclusion, even though being on trend is a crucial thought to live comfortably and reduce some unfair situations, it also
affects the difference
between humanity, somehow.Fix the agreement mistake
differences
Submitted by chosita1995 on
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task response
The essay provides a somewhat clear response to the task, but the arguments lack depth and development. More thorough analysis and evaluation of both views is needed to fully address the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. These sections should provide a concise overview of the topic and a summary of the main points. Additionally, the essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences and logical progression of ideas within paragraphs to enhance cohesion.