ending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

There are many different opinions on the best way to reduce
crime
. The traditional solution is to punish the
criminals
by putting them in
prison
. Some hold the view that
education
and job training are the long-term solutions to cut
crime
. In my opinion,
prison
is the only answer in a few situations, but in most cases
education
, vocational training and rehabilitation are better.
Prison
is the only answer in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of
criminals
who are a risk to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society,
such
as murderers. They cannot be made to mix with society. Some
people
also
say that
people
would not be afraid of doing
crime
if fear of imprisonment is not there. But I still feel that in
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of cases, we can do without
prisons
. In traditional
prisons
,
people
learn a lot about
crime
and so when they leave
prison
they will commit even more
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
.
In other
words
Add a comma
,words
show examples
prisons
act as universities of
crime
. So petty offenders like
shop-lifters
Correct your spelling
shoplifters
show examples
and pick-pockets should be given some vocational training and
education
. It is a
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
fact that the basic causes of
crime
are poverty, illiteracy and unemployment. So, if we provide
education
and job training
then
we would be removing the causes of
crime
. If
criminals
are rehabilitated by some form of employment
then
they would certainly not re-offend.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prisons
are expensive to maintain. The government can spend that money on other important matters
such
as
education
and healthcare.
This
would ease some burden
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
the government's shoulders. The petty and minor
criminals
can
also
be employed in some community service projects after providing
education
and vocational training. Summing up, we should hate the
crime
and not the criminal. To fight
crime
we should focus on the causes of
crime
.
Education
and job training help to rehabilitate the
criminals
. So,
people
who commit less serious crimes should not be sent to
prison
.
Focus
Add an article
The focus
show examples
should be on reforming them.
Submitted by theracevarsity on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Recidivism
  • Reintegration
  • Vocational training
  • Incarceration
  • Deterrent
  • Correctional facilities
  • Reformative justice
  • Social reentry
  • Ex-offender
  • Criminal justice system
  • Restorative practices
  • Penal system
  • Social marginalization
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