IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
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Some people believe that the total university
students
Use synonyms
 ought to
study
Use synonyms
 any
subjects
Use synonyms
 that are fascinating to them. Meanwhile, others argue that only
subjects
Use synonyms
 that going to be valuable in the next years,
such
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 as those relevant to science and technology should be allowed to be studied. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss that
students
Use synonyms
 ought to
study
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 any subject they are familiar with and
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in.
To begin
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 with, studying
subjects
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 that we do not have any interest in and just
due to
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 the industry
require
Wrong verb form
requiring
show examples
this
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 kind of occupation
that is
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 relevant to those
subjects
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, or just they have much more chances to get employment after
graduations
Fix the agreement mistake
graduation
show examples
 will not get any huge results either in individual or in
society
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. To illustrate, many
students
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 choose medicine or engineering
study
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 for the main reason, which is lots of chances to get a job as a
society
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
lack
Wrong verb form
lacked
show examples
 sort of those jobs, not because they have the ambition to for them.
As a result
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that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, we would get more
likely
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
terrible doctors and engineers and a lack of quality
due to
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 caring more about money rather than doing their tasks as
good
Change the word
well
show examples
 as required.
On the other hand
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, if
students
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 took courses that they have an abundant interest them, ultimately we will get extremely good graduates, what is more, a huge quality in employment and in industry.
Therefore
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, all employees in our
society
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deserves
Change the verb form
deserve
show examples
 to have their job.
Thus
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, the perfect person is in a perfect position.
To sum up
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,
students
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 ought to only
study
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 the
subjects
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 that they like and are familiar with.
By contrast
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, it would be a myriad of drawbacks in our
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by testtaker1 on

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coherence and cohesion
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task achievement
Provide specific and relevant examples to support your ideas and illustrate your points effectively.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate language to convey your ideas effectively.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and grammar to convey your ideas more accurately and precisely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
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