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Band 5

We have been living in the nuclear age now for over half a century. Since the first atomic bombs were developed, nuclear technology has provided governments with the ability to totally destroy the planet. Yet the technology has
been put to positive use as an energy source and in certain areas of medicine.
To what extent is nuclear technology a danger to life on Earth? What are the benefits and risks associated with its use?

#age #half #century #first #bombs #technology #governments #ability #planet #energy #source #areas #medicine #danger #life #earth #risks
In our time, the majority of
people
afraid
Add a missing verb
are afraid
show examples
 of
use
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using
show examples
 nuclear
technologies
 due to associations with danger
as for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the planet and
as for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 themselves.
In
Correct your spelling
I
show examples
 totally agree that nuclear
technologies
 and
weapon
Fix the agreement mistake
weapons
show examples
 are risks for Earth and will support my views with arguments and examples
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
people
 used nuclear
technologies
.
First
 of all, nuclear power stations are
essential
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an essential
the essential
show examples
 source
for
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of
show examples
 cheap power for many countries across the world.
However
, there is a huge risk of radiation liking which is dangerous for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and
people
. One of the examples, of
nuclear
Add an article
the nuclear
a nuclear
show examples
 disaster in
Correct article usage
the Chernobyl
show examples
Chernobyl
Correct the spelling
Chornobyl
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 explosion more than 30 years ago
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 causes
huge
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a huge
show examples
wave
Fix the agreement mistake
waves
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 of radiation to Ukraine’s neighbour countries.
Secondly
, nuclear
technologies
 can be used
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 military purposes. Some countries
are already have
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already have
show examples
 atomic bombs that can be used
in
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at
show examples
 any time and destroy
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
 of innocent
people
 and our planet. Despite, all argument that some nations discuss of uses atomic bombs,
Add an article
the government
show examples
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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 did not
make
Correct your spelling
take
show examples
 any actions to prohibit them.
Example
Correct article usage
An example
show examples
 of using atomic bombing
is
Correct your spelling
in
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Hiroshima
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the Hiroshima
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 and Nagasaki disaster in the middle of
20th
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the 20th
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 century. As a consequence,
estimated
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the estimated
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 number of death is 200,000
people
 in both cities.
From
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On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
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other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, nuclear technology can be useful for
Correct article usage
the treatment
show examples
treatment
Replace the word
treating
show examples
health
Change preposition
of health
show examples
 problems including cancer, but it is the only advantage that I can see in
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of nuclear
technologies
. In conclusion, nuclear development can create some benefits for society.
Nevertheless
, my view is
this
 kind of development is dangerous and it would be better if
people
 had never created
this
 type of weapon.
Submitted by maryanach12 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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