Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #videos #effect

Many people, and juveniles

Add the comma(s)

,in

show examples

particular, enjoy playing

video

games

Although

I admit that

video

games

can sometimes bring a positive effect, I firmly believe that they are more likely to cause a harmful impact. On the one hand,

video

games

can be both entertaining and educational. Students can play

video

games

during their leisure time and transport into

virtual

Add an article

a virtual

show examples

world which often provides players more exciting and engaging experience. From the educational perspective, these

games

encourage imagination and creativity, as well as time management, concentration, and

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

, all of which are important and useful skills that can be used in the real world.

Furthermore

, some insulation

games

can help improve and prepare people's motor skills

such

as flying a plane.

However

, I think the drawbacks still outweigh the benefits. Gaming can be highly addictive because users are constantly given scores, new targets, and frequent rewards to keep them playing. Many adolescents now spend hours each day to get

higher

Add an article

a higher

the higher

show examples

score

Fix the agreement mistake

scores

show examples

and surpass their friends.

Therefore

, students might suffer poor academic performances at school.

In addition

, since they spend more time on

video

games

and spend less with friends, some people may be afraid of having conversations with others and become isolated

Change preposition

show examples

the real world. Some may even suffer mental health problems due to the blood scene in

video

games

. The rise in health problems

such

as obesity, diabetes, and high blood pressure

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

partly contributed

Change preposition

show examples

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

show examples

of exercise that often

accompany

Change the verb form

accompanies

show examples

gaming addiction. To sum up, it seems to me that the potential dangers of

video

games

are more significant than the possible merits.

Submitted by vivian.88610 on Thu May 26 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In certain countries, unemployment is so high that some have suggested children should stop their education after primary school to learn skills necessary to join the workforce. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future, nobody will buy printed paper or books because they will becomplete able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you ag ree or disagree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

Nowadays, many people prefer to seek medical advice on the Internet instead of seeing a qualified doctor. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweuigh the disadvatages ?