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Band 6.5

completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills
According to some people, individuals should complete
university
 to get a good
job
 which is the best way for them, but others think that getting experience and soft
skills
 are more important to work
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
good occupation. I think these issues have both positive and negative sides because
everybody'
Change noun form
everybody's
show examples
skills
 are different
each
Change preposition
from each
show examples
 other. Both of these viewpoints will be outlined in detail before concluding.65
To begin
 with, the damage caused by
university
 varies considerably depending on both personal characteristics and
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of human
skills
.
Although
, many people think that completing
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education is
though
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
 to be
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 way to get a professional
job
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
actually many
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
business
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
man
Change to a plural noun
men
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 able to be
Add an article
a success
show examples
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
as
Change preposition
by
show examples
 working in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 professions.
For instance
, Elon Musk dropped out the
university
 in
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 years ago because he knew
own
Correct pronoun usage
his own
show examples
skills
. He
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
though
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
 that completing
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education is equal to
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time. now that he is the richest
men
Fix the agreement mistake
man
show examples
 in the world.94
On the other hand
, recent research suggests that focusing on
university
 education can be ensured excessive benefits to
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 a good
job
 as well as a high-quality life.
Therefore
, the
university
 may be opened the door to many business opportunities. Completing
university
 is hard in many countries so companies can not find a high-quality person who is graduated
a
Change preposition
from a
show examples
good
university
.
Thus
,
this
 situation causes
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 supply.
68
Change preposition
of 68
show examples
 To sum up,
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
 may look
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a necessary but
actually
Add a comma
,actually
show examples
 it does not.
Firstly
, citizens should recognise themselves
then
, they should choose a
job
 which can do.
Submitted by ozbekibrahimcan on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
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