The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant.
The charts give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about what
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
UK graduate and postgraduate
students
do after finishing college if they didn't get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
full-time job in 2008.
Overall
, we can
said
Change the verb form
say
show examples
that, by looking at the charts given, most of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
students
did
further
Add an article
a further
show examples
study when they
leaved
Correct your spelling
leave
show examples
school and the same
propotions
Correct your spelling
proportions
proportion
of both
students
worked
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
voluntary
Change the word
voluntarily
show examples
the least and the
umemployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
rate of
students
are
also
the same for both sides.
Firstly
, the first chart shows that 29665 of the
students
studied
further
when they graduated and it is the most common thing.
Also
, the
second
leading thing which they did was part-time
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
number of 17735
students
.
Moreover
, 16235 of them didn't get any job and only 3500
students
were in voluntary jobs. Turning to the
second
chart of postgraduate
students
, we can see that the same
patten
Correct your spelling
pattern
show examples
has
also
applied to
this
chart. To be precise, most of the
students
, exactly 2725, studied more when they finished
postgraduate
Correct pronoun usage
their postgraduate
show examples
. The number of people who got in part-time jobs
also
Add a missing verb
was also
show examples
followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
2535
students
and 1625 people got
umemployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
employment
despite they finished postgraduates. The same thing
also
happened in postgraduate
students
in voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
as there were only 345
students
in
this
field.
Submitted by ivvitest3 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, further, second".
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time work
  • graduate
  • postgraduate
  • trends
  • part-time work
  • further study
  • gap year
  • traveling
  • unemployment
  • percentages
  • proportion
  • significant differences
  • subsequent activities
  • career progression
  • academic advancement
  • job market
  • vocational training
  • data interpretation
  • employment sector
  • career-oriented steps
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