The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant.
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The charts give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about what
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
UK graduate and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
do after finishing college if they didn't get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
full-time job in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can
said
Change the verb form
say
show examples
that, by looking at the charts given, most of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
students
Use synonyms
did
Linking Words
further
Add an article
a further
show examples
study when they
leaved
Correct your spelling
leave
show examples
school and the same
propotions
Correct your spelling
proportions
proportion
of both
students
Use synonyms
worked
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
voluntary
Change the word
voluntarily
show examples
the least and the
umemployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
rate of
students
Use synonyms
are
also
Linking Words
the same for both sides.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the first chart shows that 29665 of the
students
Use synonyms
studied
further
Linking Words
when they graduated and it is the most common thing.
Also
Linking Words
, the
second
Linking Words
leading thing which they did was part-time
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
number of 17735
students
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 16235 of them didn't get any job and only 3500
students
Use synonyms
were in voluntary jobs. Turning to the
second
Linking Words
chart of postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
, we can see that the same
patten
Correct your spelling
pattern
show examples
has
also
Linking Words
applied to
this
Linking Words
chart. To be precise, most of the
students
Use synonyms
, exactly 2725, studied more when they finished
postgraduate
Correct pronoun usage
their postgraduate
show examples
. The number of people who got in part-time jobs
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
was also
show examples
followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
2535
students
Use synonyms
and 1625 people got
umemployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
employment
despite they finished postgraduates. The same thing
also
Linking Words
happened in postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
in voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
as there were only 345
students
Use synonyms
in
this
Linking Words
field.
Submitted by ivvitest3 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, further, second".
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time work
  • graduate
  • postgraduate
  • trends
  • part-time work
  • further study
  • gap year
  • traveling
  • unemployment
  • percentages
  • proportion
  • significant differences
  • subsequent activities
  • career progression
  • academic advancement
  • job market
  • vocational training
  • data interpretation
  • employment sector
  • career-oriented steps
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