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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #students #study #group
Many
people
 are of the thought, that studying in a
group
 is more effective,
whereas
, some
people
 think that studying in
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
isolation is a better way for them as they can focus more when alone.
This
 essay will cover both the views and a conclusion
thereafter
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, some
people
 think that, for students to
study
 in a
group
 is
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 effective way as they get to
lean
Correct your spelling
learn
show examples
 a lot of new things from each individual present.
Furthermore
, you can
get
Verb problem
apply
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corrected
Wrong verb form
correct
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your mistakes without criticism,
you
Correct word choice
and you
show examples
 tend to learn new methods and terminologies
while
 studying together. A good example is a popular scientist who was not able to pull through with his
investions
Correct your spelling
investments
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 until he invited his friends to his research who not only corrected him but
also
 brought in new ideas
as a result
 making it a
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 invention today.
On the other hand
,
people
 tend to believe that studying in isolation gets them more focused and are able to concentrate more
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their studies.
In addition
, they believe
group
 studies are good until there are
people
 who join for fun and
hangout
Correct your spelling
hang out
show examples
instead
 of studying. For
an
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apply
show examples
instance, a joint reading target might not be met just because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some
people
 decide to have fun rather than sticking to the plan.
As a result
, they waste
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 few hours and they have to
study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the time
where
Correct word choice
when
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 they were supposed to play. In
a
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apply
show examples
conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages to both a
group
study
 and
also
 a personal
study
, but I am more inclined towards studying in a
group
, as it is a better approach than studying in
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
isolation, your queries get resolved, and you achieve a lot of new things.
Submitted by vaibhavvarshney67 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a clearer and more coherent introduction and conclusion. Your main points are not fully supported and your examples are not entirely relevant.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but needs to develop more comprehensive ideas and provide relevant specific examples in order to fully answer the prompt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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