Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

this

day and age,

music

is considered one of the most popular means of entertainment around the world.

This

leads to the claim that

music

plays an essential part in connecting

people

of different backgrounds and generations. In my opinion, I strongly agree that

music

is a great way of bonding

people

of dissimilar

cultures

and ages. One reason is that

music

is a global language

that is

comprehensible to individuals. It means that

people

of disparate

cultures

are not necessary

Fix the infinitive

apply

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comprehend the lyrics to feel the melancholy or the delight from the melody of a song.

For example

, numerous Vietnamese

people

are fascinated by Korean pop

songs

with catchy tunes and upbeat tempo even though they cannot understand a single word of the lyrics. Undoubtedly,

music

is a perfect tool to remove

language

Correct article usage

the language

show examples

barrier amongst dissimilar

cultures

. Another reason is that

music

can eliminate generational distinction. Undeniably, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

contemporary society, it is extremely common to spot youngsters

listen

Wrong verb form

listening

show examples

songs

from the past and the elderly

listen

Replace the word

listening

show examples

to modern genres, namely pop

music

or electronic dance

music

For instance

, on social media platforms, it is frequent to encounter teenagers do cover versions of

songs

of well-known bands from the 70s,

such

as ABBA or Queen. Admittedly,

music

can bridge the generation gap and connect

people

of different age groups. Some

people

could argue that there is hatred

towards

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toward

show examples

music

Add an article

the music

show examples

of other

cultures

due to racial discrimination;

however

this

argument is dubious. Nowadays, it is not difficult to hear

songs

from famous celebrities of

color

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colour

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played on

radio

Add an article

the radio

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or famous television programs. Evidence for

this

can be seen in Kanye West – the most groundbreaking African American artist whose

songs

are widely streamed in numerous countries, including Asian regions. In conclusion, I believe that

music

is a great

ways

Change the noun form

way

show examples

of uniting disparate

cultures

and age brackets.

This

form of entertainment enhances the connection

amongst

Change preposition

among

show examples

people

despite the difference in cultural backgrounds and generations. Hopefully,

music

would continue to thrive in the future and could resolve conflicts for dissimilar groups of

people

Submitted by trankhanhnhi on Sun May 29 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

344 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some teachers think that international students exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages?

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on sustainable living and reducing environmental impact. What are the challenges of adopting a sustainable lifestyle? What practical actions can individuals take to contribute to sustainability?

As technology advances, travelling to space is likely to become an option for holidaymakers in the future. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages are of space tourism