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Band 4.5

SOME PEOPLE SAID THAT MOTHERS SHOULD STAY AT HOME TO TAKE CARE OF THE FAMILIES, WHILE OTHERS PEOPLE BELIEVE IT IS THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF BOTH PARENTS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION

#people #mothers #home #care #families #responsibilities #parents
It would be argued by some that housework is the responsibility
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
wifes
Correct your spelling
wives
show examples
. In my opinion,
however
, it is in charge of
both
parents
. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why some believe that women should stay at home to look after the family.
Firstly
, they could focus on their
children
 more.
For instance
, they could do homework with us or when their
children
 got silk, they could look after and beside them all time.
As a result
,
children
 would feel safe and closer to their mothers.
Secondly
,
wife
Add an article
the wife
a wife
show examples
 will be less stressed.
For example
, they do work, there are a bunch of things which have to do, so they will feel extremely stressed,
this
 would lead to affecting negatively for their
children
.
On the other hand
, I would be
agued
Correct your spelling
argued
show examples
 that the responsibility of
both
parents
 is more vital.
First
 of all, they could share housework with each other.
For example
, they might look after their own
children
, cook, and so on together.
As a result
, family relationships would become stronger.
Secondly
,
children
 have to take care of
both
parents
, they could
sence
Correct your spelling
see
 the love from
both
 sides.
Furthermore
, men who could hear understand more about their wives. In conclusion, while people think that women have to stay at home for housework purposes, I believe that
both
parents
 should do
this
 together
Submitted by Eteacher on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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