Some people believe that reading stories from my book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. What extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #stories #book #tv #computer #games #children

In our modern society,

children

spend time with various things every day.

For instance

, it is quite easy to see

children

enjoying reading

books

wathicng

Correct your spelling

watching

and playing

games

in their house. In

this

situation, certain people consider that reading stories from

books

is better than enjoying watching

or playing computer

games

for

children

However

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is disagreed

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

opinion

Change preposition

with by

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some research results.

To begin

with , many

children

are getting tired of reading

books

since they have to read a large

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of textbooks in their school.

For example

children

spend 3 hours on reading materials during taking classes in their school,

moreover

2 hours in their house after finishing classes due to doing a large

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

As a result

children

feel

Correct your spelling

bored

show examples

board

Correct your spelling

bored

show examples

when they read

books

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

leads to the situation that they do not want to read

books

anymore.

Thus

this

makes clear that

children

do not have a good motivation for reading

books

Additionally

children

can absorb new knowledge by playing computer

games

and watching

. According to a

survery

Correct your spelling

survey

conducted by

Japanese

Correct article usage

the Japanese

show examples

government

reaveled

Correct your spelling

revealed

that it is possible for

children

to study effectively with

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good motivation

Change preposition

from

show examples

games

and

In addition

to that, another research in 2020 illustrated that

children

who play

games

and watch

often got a 30 per cent

higer

Correct your spelling

higher

score than

chidlren

Correct your spelling

children

who do not.

Therefore

, it becomes apparent that enjoying

and computer

games

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

Correct your spelling

influence

influenced

inluence

Correct article usage

an inluence

show examples

children

in a better way. In summary, nowadays

younger

Correct article usage

the younger

show examples

generation

are

Change the verb form

show examples

getting tired of reading

books

futhermore

Correct your spelling

furthermore

, they can absorb new information more through enjoying

and

games

. Reading

books

is a traditional learning form,

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

the idea that reading

books

Change the verb form

are

show examples

better for

children

can not be supported after all since

and

games

have

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

influence

for

Change preposition

show examples

children

. After

thorough

Add an article

a thorough

show examples

analysis of

this

subject, it is predicted that educational

programs and

games

will be developed more frequently for

children

In the future.

Submitted by lyu on Tue May 31 2022

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that reading stories from my book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. What extent do you agree or disagree.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is that? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?