IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays schools should not use textbooks because children get bored with books. Using games, computers and TV is a better way to give them new information and knowledge. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#schools #textbooks #children #books #games #computers #tv #information
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Replacing
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textbooks
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text books
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textbooks
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 teaching completly with the learning thru tv computers,
games
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and games
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 would not be as much effective as the old methods.
However
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,However
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 we can not deny the fact that using other methods to educate
childerens
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children
 should not be
practiced
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practised
show examples
. Schools should keep the
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textbook
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text book
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textbook
show examples
 in their system with the addition of technological
part
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parts
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.
Firstly
,if we convert the education system only based on the
games
 or
computer
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computers
show examples
,there is a risk of adapting the
moral
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morals
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 from that content as per their
mind
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mental
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 strength.which
on the other hand
, in
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textbooks
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text books
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textbooks
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 we can control.
For instance
,if offsprings
has
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have
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 access to the
games
 and they are playing
voilent
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violent
games
 that can put
an
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a
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 negative impression on their immature mind.So what
thwy
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they
we
 are learning from that we can not restrict that.
On the other hand
,if we transform
cirriculam
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curriculum
 with the
computer based
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computer-based
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 education than our generation might be get affected by some health issues which are like, eye sight
weakning
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weakening
weakness
 due to more attraction with the screen of
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
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,some times distraction on other part is
also
 easy with computers.So in long
term
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,term
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 it has
negative
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a negative
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 impact on the lifestyle as well. Overall,upgradation in the current system is good not
with
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unlike
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 the full modificated one,where kids do not have
option
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an option
the option
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 for
paper based
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paper-based
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 reading. in my
view
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,view
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 we should add things with the recent structure.
Submitted by khushbupoonia89 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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