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Band 5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
It is argued by some that
food
 substances containing added sugar ought to be exorbitant to inspire
citizen
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citizens
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 to reduce
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 intake. In my opinion, I agree that
food
 being high-priced to minimize the devouring is beneficial.
Firstly
, increasing the price of sweetened
products
 is justifiable as it causes several health issues.
This
 is because the
food
 items contain a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of calories with no
nutrient
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nutrients
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.
Also
, people do not have the feeling of fullness
compare
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compared
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 to when a healthy diet is consumed.
Consequently
, they crave
for
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apply
show examples
more sweet things and other
food
products
 increasing their daily ingestion of
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 which may result in obesity. To illustrate, in Nigeria, the most readily available sweetened drinks
such
 as Fanta
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
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 11tablespoons of sugar, which exceeded the recommended daily
reauirement
Correct your spelling
requirement
 of added sugar in
diet
Add an article
the diet
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. When an individual
take
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takes
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sweet drinks
in addition
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other regular diets, it increases the risk of obesity. For
this
 reason, sweet things lower the quality of life of a person and affect the society's economy
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the long run.
Secondly
, it provokes the desire to be informed about the content of the
food
 substance.
In other words
, the expensive prices of the items would make
populace
Correct article usage
the populace
show examples
 ponder
about
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apply
show examples
thd
Correct your spelling
the
 things they are about to purchase. It is in human nature to wish to have
an in-depth knowledge
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in-depth knowledge
a piece of in-depth knowledge
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
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 what they are procuring with their
hard earned
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hard-earned
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 money.
Moreover
,
human
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humans
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 tend to weigh the benefit and the risk of the commodity and sometimes, seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
products
 that are cheaper and healthier.
Thus
, assisting them
make
Add the particle
to make
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right choice in selection. Admittedly, it is true that people have the freedom of choice and should not be coerced to change their
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
. As some people ingest those
products
 when on a treat or after a hectic day to refresh themselves.
However
, there is a need to restrict the ingestion because it has a detrimental effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health. In conclusion, limitation on sweetened items is a necessity for any individual that values improved
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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 and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 the readiness to change unhealthy practices.
Submitted by hydheraa on

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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