IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Due to globalization, many countries lose their traditions and national values. Some people think it is the responsibility of governments to protect these values. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that globalisation is causing most countries to lose their culture. Some argue that the ministry is accountable for protecting these
values
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 trend benefits a few countries to leave behind or change a few of their custom which is unfavourable to humanity. At the same time, it can result in losing
one
Use synonyms
's faith in their own cultural
values
Use synonyms
 and getting attracted to others.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides with a conclusion. It is true that multiculturism
consequently
Linking Words
 broadens up
one
Use synonyms
 to make difference between good or bad rituals being carried out over the years focused on
one
Use synonyms
 particular group in the society. Globalisation plays a key role in the upliftment of society in the cases like gender equality, racism, abusing old people, etc.
For example
Linking Words
, in ancient India, the female groups were considered a burden as they were not allowed to earn. But over the recent years, globalisation has led to an independent working women population.
Thus
Linking Words
, modernity is beneficial for a few countries which need to be developed in terms of community.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, globalism is leading
one
Use synonyms
 to come across multiple other attractive mythologies which results in losing interest in their own culture.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Holi festival is celebrated in India. Playing with water and different colours causes foreigners to incline towards it. They may find it an amazing tradition to follow, eventually forgetting their tradition.
Therefore
Linking Words
, other nations' mesmerised occasions could result in disbelief of their own
values
Use synonyms
. To summarise, despite
one
Use synonyms
's disregard towards the reason for the practice being repeated every year in their country, transnationality serves as an advantage to elevate the weakest group of civilization to live better. In my opinion, modernity ensures beneficial changes in the nation which outweighs the ignorance of the national
values
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: