IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

This days,more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adult.Do advantage to this development outweigh the disadvantage.

During
this
Linking Words
 contemporary
era
Add a comma
,era
show examples
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 people
move
Change the verb form
moves
show examples
 away from their region where they were birthed and nurtured when they become grown-up.In these
easy
Add a comma
,easy
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will elaborate on
merit
Add an article
the merit
show examples
 of
these development
Change the determiner
this development
show examples
 exceed the demerits
Firstly
Linking Words
,there will be
open
Correct article usage
an open
show examples
 door to an entirely new level of freedom
such
Linking Words
 that you will be very articulate when making
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 so that you do not end up causing harm for the purposes of the future.
In addition
Linking Words
,personal and
proffessional
Correct your spelling
professional
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 will expand.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 most job
opportunity
Change to a plural noun
opportunities
show examples
 come from
refferal
Correct your spelling
referral
referrals
 and you have to go out there and meet new people,build
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
 and establish
this
Linking Words
 network.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 research done by Nairobi University depicts that 80% of jobs are through
refferal
Correct your spelling
referral
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the great thing about moving to a new place is that your network will continue to grow and most likely at a faster pace.
Secondly
Linking Words
,fear will be another emotion since starting
a fresh
Correct your spelling
afresh
show examples
 in a new place is by no way a walk in the park
hence
Linking Words
 it
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 courage strategic thinking and determination.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 you will be forced to step outside of
comfort
Correct pronoun usage
your comfort
show examples
 zone despite unfamiliarity since the challenges will be numerous.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 research done by Kenyatta University depicts that 70% of people who are away from home perform well in future.
Therefore
Linking Words
,all albeit the demerits are
Correct your spelling
unavoidable
show examples
un avoidable
Correct your spelling
unavoidable
show examples
,they open up your eye to see what others are not seeing and make like interesting. To sum up,it is imperative to move away from the compound you were born
as
Change preposition
in as
show examples
 appreciation for your loved one back home will skyrocket,
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 we are all
incharge
Correct your spelling
in charge
 of our destiny.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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