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Band 5

In many countries, paying for things using mobile app is becoming increasingly common. Does this development are having more advantages or disadvantages?

#countries #app #development
All over the
world
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,world
show examples
 the use of digital
money
 is
rapdly
Correct your spelling
rapidly
 increasing. From a
mobile
Add a comma
,mobile
show examples
 it is
permited
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permitted
 that any kind of thing are purchased as long as you
downloading
Wrong verb form
download
show examples
app
Add an article
the app
show examples
 and share personals account details. For some people,
specialy
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especially
specially
for
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apply
show examples
the
oldiest
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oldest
oldies
,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 new habits could be
overwelming
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overwhelming
,
however
, for
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
ones
Add a comma
,ones
show examples
 there is no conflict to deal with new electronic devices. I
personaly
Correct your spelling
personally
 believe that there
is
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are
show examples
 more advantages than disadvantages
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 paying for things using cell phones.
Firstly
, the most app´s that I have experienced brigs
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of facilities for our daily routine.
For instance
, paper
money
, paycheck and cards
is
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are
show examples
 being substituted for
app´s
Change the noun form
apps
app
show examples
. Fortunately, people
doesn´t
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don´t
show examples
 need to have physical
money
 nowadays and
instead
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 allowed to care
personal
Change preposition
about personal
show examples
informational
Replace the word
information
show examples
 with you.
Thus
,
Correct pronoun usage
it brigs
show examples
brigs
Correct your spelling
brings
show examples
 society the opportunity to have more facilities when
go
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going
show examples
shooping
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shopping
 or need to transfer
money
 to someone.
Secondly
, the
securiness
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secureness
securities
 that
this
 technology allowed is considerable. In the
past
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,past
show examples
 the number of financial crimes
were
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was
show examples
 twice
as
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apply
show examples
the amount we have today.
This
 shows that every single transaction is
monitoring
Wrong verb form
monitored
show examples
 through the bank and if the bank
have
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has
show examples
 any kind of
suspiction
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suspicion
 the ordering will be failed. Because of
this
, the financial
institute
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institutions
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 several rules to work with
transaction
Add an article
the transaction
a transaction
show examples
 in the most
effictive
Correct your spelling
effective
 ways. To sum up, the
increasigly
Correct your spelling
increasingly
increasing
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 using mobile to pay bills makes our lives more easily and
secure
Correct quantifier usage
more secure
show examples
.
Accordinly
Correct your spelling
Accordingly
According
 with that the advantages of having technology influencing our mode of
cashtransfer
Correct your spelling
cash transfer
cash-transfer
 is much more relevant than
drawnbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
. My prediction is that in a few years the cashing hand and the checks will be
considering
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
an old-fashioned items
Correct the article-noun agreement
old-fashioned items
an old-fashioned item
show examples
.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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