All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults.what are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #children #adults #rise

Obesity is being faced by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

societies inclusive of youngsters and elder people across the world.

This

essay will explore

such

problems and propose

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

solutions respectively. One of the main

cause

Fix the agreement mistake

causes

show examples

is not involving in healthy activities

such

sports

and

Correct your spelling

weight

show examples

weigh

Correct your spelling

weight

show examples

training.

For instance

, children are used to

play

Change the verb form

playing

show examples

video games, browsing

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

or indulging in excessive use of social media.

Similarly

, adults have

couple

Change the article

a couple

show examples

of responsibilities like office work and family time. To handle

this

situation, there are more

extra curricular

Correct your spelling

extracurricular

show examples

activities should be introduced by schools like

sports

competitions so children may get better interest in

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Likewise

, private and government

instituitions

Correct your spelling

institutions

, ought not to be burdened their staff and

encourge

Correct your spelling

encourage

them

for

Change preposition

show examples

fitness as a healthy person can perform better, these

isntitutes

Correct your spelling

institutes

can

also

introduce gyming facilities

Change preposition

show examples

office premises. Another major cause is unhealthy food.In

this

faster pace of the

world

Add a comma

,world

show examples

mankind

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

used to

eat

Wrong verb form

eating

show examples

junk and fast foods that could not

easily

Add a missing verb

be easily

show examples

digest

Wrong verb form

digested

show examples

and become the reason for bulkiness.

This

problem can be handled too by avoiding or

minimize

Wrong verb form

minimising

show examples

such

foods.

Further

, authorities

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

to be banned those food chains and boost people to invest

for

Change preposition

show examples

healthy

foot

Correct your spelling

food

show examples

restaurants.

Thirdly

, laziness is

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

another

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

cause

Fix the agreement mistake

causes

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

chubbiness.

For instance

, there are

such

persons exists who have

proper

Correct article usage

the proper

show examples

time and resources to keep themselves fit. So,

solution

Correct article usage

the solution

show examples

for those people is proper awareness by doctors or

sports

coaches and give them reasons to live happily. To

sumup

Correct your spelling

sum up

, obesity is one of the main problems in societies due to unhealthy food, less physical

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

and laziness. Relevant persons like institutions,

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

show examples

sports men

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

show examples

, and

persons

Change the noun form

person

show examples

himselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

can control it by adopting

above

Correct article usage

the above

show examples

propose solutions.

Submitted by usman.javed on Fri Jun 10 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

279 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Obesity
Overweight
Epidemic
Sedentary
Processed food
Fast food
Nutritional education
Awareness
Stress
Emotional eating
Genetic factors
Access
Healthy food options
Marketing
Urbanization
Lifestyles

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Surveillance cameras in banks, officers, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and in public, but they are also a tool for their users to spy on people private business. What problems do the use of surveillance cameras create? Is there any solution?
The crime rate has been increasing which has led to tightening the security specifically around the financial institutes and other businesses. However, these places are being secured by the camcorder but such kind of surveillance is helping some people to look inside somebody's else business which is basically hindering their privacy. Analysing that it is mainly because of the competition and to rob others strategy to business. This is completely not acceptable and needs to be stopped by opting for the appropriate solution.
4
band
People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over whether more sugar-based drinks are being consumed by people. This essay is devoted to underlying roots, followed by some equivalent effective solutions to this dire problem.
7
band
With the development of media online, there is no future for the radio. To what extend do you agree?
In the old days, radio broadcasting was the only and the most convenient source of information. Nowadays, with the rapid development of the internet and media, a segment of society is convinced that the radio is on the verge of extinction unless it undergoes significant changes. I personally fully agree with this opinion, because the internet is offering more convenience which makes people give it more preferences. The following paragraphs will highlight my opinion in detail with relevant examples.
5.5
band
Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age, it is a common belief that transportation and accommodation issues could be resolved by relocating huge corporations, factories, and their staff to the rural area. However, I firmly believe that this idea is justifiable but numerous other negative effects on the countryside may result from the industrial zone's relocation. I will shed light on my opinion in the following essay.
8.5
band
Now a days the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected personal relationships. Has his become a positive or negative development.
The converse routine of interacting has been completely altered through using technology. Along with its apparent consequences on an individual's private relationships. People often talk about whether this shift is a positive or a negative impact on the development of relationships those humans make. In my opinion, its benefits outweigh its drawbacks.

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults.what are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Surveillance cameras in banks, officers, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and in public, but they are also a tool for their users to spy on people private business. What problems do the use of surveillance cameras create? Is there any solution?

People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

With the development of media online, there is no future for the radio. To what extend do you agree?

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

Now a days the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected personal relationships. Has his become a positive or negative development.